Pseudomortis
by KZerina
Summary: Fifth year for Harry and the gang. PG13 just in case for later chapters. Pseudofake Mortisdeath Pseudomortisfakedeath. You'll understand in Pt 3. Please R&R!
1. It Starts

Hello, fanfiction readers. I have a little bit of background info for you before you read this fanfiction. It is fifth year for Harry and the gang, and it is the last few of weeks in October. This becomes important for the ending funny things I have planned. I don't mention this info anywhere. Both Harry and Hermione are prefects. Like I said I don't mention it anywhere yet.

Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own anything associated with it.

Pseudomortis

Part 1- It Starts

By KZerina

***

It was Friday. First class after lunch was Harry's favorite class… Potions. The Gryffindors _still_ had Potions with the Slytherin House as they had the previous four years. Harry walked with Hermione and Ron into the usually cold, dark, and damp dungeon and took a table in the back of the room, as far away from the fearsome Potions Professor's desk as they could possibly get.

Professor Snape glided in, as usual, and gave his cold stare to the three as they quietly waited for class to start. Snape was obviously trying to find someway to take points away from Gryffindor. His stare to the back of the room proved it.

The students opened their rolls of parchment and began mixing the potion that Snape had assigned them to look up for homework the night before. The trio chatted quietly as they mixed their powdered rat-tail bones, unicorn tail hair, finely chopped root of Viper's Bugloss (A/N: It's a plant I found in an herb book.), and Dragons' blood.

"Too bad this is a _real_ rat's tail," Ron said while forcefully grinding the rat's bones.

"Well, think of it this way, Ron. Pettigrew is a real _rat_," Hermione grinned at the red-haired boy at the other end of the table. Ron shrugged a little to say he agreed.

"And what are you three talking about? It obviously is not Potions. Ten points from Gryffindor!" Snape bellowed before Harry knew what had happened. He, along with Ron and Hermione, rolled his eyes at Snape's retreating back while the Slytherins chuckled into their hands.

It seemed as though the bell didn't ring for an eternity. Then it finally came and the trio rushed out as quickly as possible and headed upstairs to Professor McGonagall's classroom for Transfigurations.

Due to unknown reasons, the Slytherins also had Transfigurations with Gryffindors for the one class, much to Harry's dismay. Mostly out of instinct of having the Slytherins as their adversaries, the Gryffindors placed themselves to the right of the classroom, and the Slytherins placed themselves to the left.

Harry watched quietly as Professor McGonagall walked hurriedly through the door, set a stack of papers on her desk, and straightened up before the class. "I am sorry for the mix-up of schedule. I worked out with Professor Binns such that we could switch Slytherin History and Transfigurations. There was important work I had to fulfill at the time of Slytherin Transfigurations class.

"In our lesson today, we will be working with furniture. There are chairs here in the front of the classroom. There is one for each of you. You will turn them into ottomans," she told the class, "and for those who do not know what an ottoman is, I have placed one in the corner at which you may look." She pointed behind and to the right of herself at a small heavily cushioned footrest. "Now choose a chair and get to work," Professor McGonagall said before sitting down and scanning the papers she had placed on her desk when she walked in.

Harry grabbed one of the chairs from the front of the room and took it back to his seat. Hermione transfigured her chair perfectly in a matter of minutes and, as usual, was the first to do so. Harry was the second to transfigure his chair and had done so soon after Hermione.

Draco Malfoy, Harry's main Slytherin rival, was next to change his chair to an ottoman, but in his gloating, he sat down on a bench, put his feet on his newly made footrest, and leaned backward only to fall flat on his back due to the fact that the benches had no backrest on which he could lean.

The classroom filled with laughter, belonging mostly to Gryffindors, in a matter of seconds. Even Professor McGonagall was tempted to laugh at Malfoy's failure to remember the style of furniture that was always within her classroom.

"Mr. Malfoy, I suggest you learn what your over-sized ego can earn you. Look around and I believe you will see what I am talking about." Professor McGonagall motioned around at the students.

Malfoy looked around the classroom and saw all the Gryffindors and most of the Slytherins forcing themselves not to laugh. He went slightly pink before picking himself up off the cold, stone floor. He looked across the room at Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who, out of all the students, seemed to be laughing the hardest. His glare did no good; it only made them laugh even harder, though that was obviously not his intent.

Class ended with very few more totally successful transfigurations. Neville ended with a footrest with a chair's back and legs, not much use to put your feet on. Ron almost made an ottoman, except that it was not cushioned.

As Harry walked out, Professor McGonagall slipped a small piece of parchment into Harry's hand. Harry opened it and read its contents.

~~~~~

There will be a Quidditch team meeting tonight. We will meet in my office at eight o'clock.

Professor M. McGonagall.

~~~~~

"I was so close, too!" Ron complained as the students made their way to the Great Hall for dinner, after dropping their books off in Gryffindor Tower. "Why couldn't we have had just _five_ more minutes? I could have done it!"

"You'll get it, Ron," Hermione comforted. "McGonagall said we were doing this again on Monday, so don't fret."

"Easy for you to say! You were the first to get it!" Ron retorted as he looked over at Harry, "and you can't complain either. You got it second."

Harry gave Ron a half-smile and shrugged his shoulders. "We'd help you if we could. You know that, Ron. It's McGonagall. She hates that. She considers it cheating. Probably because it is."

Ron nodded in agreement. "Maybe you can help me practice and give me a few 'pointers?'" Harry and Hermione both nodded. "Thanks, you guys. I'm pretty sure you just saved my Transfigurations grade."

Harry and Hermione rolled their eyes, and the three took places at the Gryffindor table where Hermione asked about what Professor McGonagall had given Harry just before he left.

"It was a note saying we have a team meeting tonight," Harry explained pulling the note out of his pocket. "Eight o'clock."

"Oh, that means I can't bring both of you with me to the library later," Hermione griped. "Oh well, I guess Ron's just going to have to come with me then." Ron groaned from the side of the table opposite Harry and Hermione before he began stuffing his face with the food on the plates in front of him.

******

Just as Harry was leaving for Professor McGonagall's office, so were Angelina, Alicia, and Katie. The four Quidditch players chatted as they journeyed along the corridors to Professor McGonagall's office.

"Won't your Mudblood be jealous, Potter?" a voice came from behind the cluster of Gryffindor team members.

"Jealous of _what_, Malfoy?" Harry asked realizing exactly who it was without turning around.

"You're hanging around with all those girls, Potter. Your Mudblood girlfriend is bound to get jealous of them."

"What's wrong with hanging out with girls, you little bobbing weasel?" Alicia retorted.

"Yeah, it's not like a guy can't have friends who are girls if he's got a girlfriend," Katie added.

"Besides, you're just jealous 'cause you aren't _mature _enough to hang out with the seventh years," Angelina commented while trying to keep a straight face.

At this, Malfoy turned and stomped off to his destination, leaving the laughing Gryffindor Quidditch players to themselves.

"I don't even have a girlfriend," Harry said as an afterthought, "and if I did, I highly doubt it would be Hermione." Harry had a sneaking suspicion that his teammates didn't believe him, and he wasn't quite sure he believed himself.

Harry's thoughts on the subject were interrupted by his arrival at Professor McGonagall's office. The girls sat down in chairs around the room, and Harry leaned against a wall near Professor McGonagall's desk. 

"Where are our beaters?" Professor McGonagall asked after looking around the room. "They are late."

Just as she had said this, Fred and George burst through the door. "Sorry we're late. Ron wanted to talk to us."

"Don't blame it on Ron," Harry said. "I know for a fact it wasn't his fault. He had a date. It was with a _book_. Hermione dragged him off to the library just before I left, and you two were still laughing your heads off in the common room."

Professor McGonagall looked at the twins sternly. "Because this is only a Quidditch meeting, I am not going to take points off, but make sure you are _always_ on time to class."

The twins nodded and found places to stand. Fred leaned on the back of Angelina's chair and George on the back of Alicia's.

"Now," Professor McGonagall started, "this meeting is about certain positions we need to fill: keeper and captain. We will pick a captain here. Tryouts are tomorrow. Hopefully you all know they are from ten to eleven. As you had seen, I posted signup sheets in the common room and took them down this morning.

"Now for voting, we will go from oldest to youngest. Katie?"

Katie bit her lip as she thought for a moment. "I vote for Harry. We'll all be gone next year; he'll be the only one with much experience."

McGonagall nodded and looked at Angelina. "I also say Harry should be captain. He'll be here for three more years. We all have one. Why not save the trouble of voting for a new captain again next year?"

McGonagall's face moved to Alicia. "Harry. It would be easier on him. Like Katie said, he'll have the most experience of the whole team next year, making him captain anyway. Why not break him in with an experienced team rather than a totally new one who doesn't necessarily know what's going on?"

"We both say Harry," George said without a signal from the professor. "We'll need a whole new team next year except for him and maybe the Keeper."

"Besides," Fred added, "Harry makes a great leader, that is if we can trust Ron's word. He usually goes with on Harry's fun little exploits with You-Know-Who and friends."

Harry looked at the ground and shook his head, his cheeks as red as his eyes are green, at all the comments made. When he looked up again, he saw Professor McGonagall looking at him as though she was asking him whom he wanted for captain. "Does it matter who I was going to vote for?" he asked. "It's already majority without my vote, so it doesn't really matter, does it?"

"No, I suppose not," was Professor McGonagall's reply. A small smile grew on her face as she opened a small drawer in her desk. She reached in and pulled out a small pin. She stood up and put the pin in Harry's hand. "Congratulations, Mr. Potter. You are the new Gryffindor Quidditch team captain."

Harry examined the badge given to him. It had a broomstick and a beater's club crossed in the background and the three goals in front of them. The two Bludgers were on either side of the goal posts and the Quaffle was on the bottom. The Snitch was enchanted to hover near the middle goal. A banner-like emblem at the bottom of the pin read 'CAPTAIN.' The whole scene was surrounded with a golden-edged circle that gave the pin a bright crimson background.

While Harry was looking at the pin, the Snitch seemed to zoom to the foreground to show the position that the new captain played, Seeker. "Thanks, guys. I'm honored, and very glad that you like me enough to get me used to the position before setting me off on my own." Harry smiled around the room at each of the team members who smiled back.

Professor McGonagall stood up and dismissed the team. Harry stayed back to talk to Gryffindor's head of house about the next day's Quidditch tryouts.

"Professor?" McGonagall turned to face Harry. "About tryouts tomorrow. I think, the whole team should be able to participate in choosing who they will be playing with. They know better what Keeper should be. I mean, I understand, but I don't have as much experience as they do."

"Very good idea, Harry. No wonder they all had so much confidence in your abilities as a captain. Incorporating the whole team so they all can participate. I will announce the change in plans."

"That's fine. Thanks, Professor," Harry said as he turned around and walked toward Gryffindor Tower.

He passed the library and stopped to see if Ron and Hermione were still there. He found them sitting at a table in the back. He took a seat next to Hermione and across from Ron.

Ron waved a greeting, but Hermione's nose stayed in the book she had open on the table.

"How'd it go?" Ron asked with excitement, as he had obviously not had much since he had been dragged to the library.

"The tryouts are to be judged by the girls and your brothers, but mainly by Professor McGonagall and myself," Harry said reaching into his pocket and tossing the pin across the table to where Ron was sitting.

Ron picked it up and carefully examined it. His eyes widened as he reached the bottom of the pin. He looked up at Harry and back at the pin. "You're-you're c-c-cap…."

"He's what, Ron?" Hermione asked snatching the small object from Ron's grasp. "You're captain of the Quidditch team! Congratulations, Harry!" Hermione threw her arms around Harry's neck and hugged him. "Oops, sorry," she added quickly while removing her hands from around Harry's neck.

"SHHHH!" a loud hiss came from the front of the library.

"I think she got a bit over excited about that," Ron joked before groaning slightly in pain because Hermione had just kicked him in the shin. "That didn't hurt." Then he hissed in greater pain as Hermione kicked him again in the same spot.

Harry stood up and edged toward the door. "That was _real_ smart, Ron," he jibed.

Ron's eyes flickered with a fire as red as his hair when he stood up so fast he knocked the chair over, not even thinking to pick it up.

Harry smiled nervously and burst out of the library as fast as his legs would carry him. He passed a tall, dark figure as he sped around one corner and the next very quickly, and with as much speed he had gained in his run from the library, Harry soon reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Password?" she asked the heavily breathing boy in front of her.

"Kuroiro-ryuu," Harry answered quickly.

The portrait swung open, and Harry walked inside. He poked his head into the corridor for any sign of Ron before shrugging and taking a seat with the Quidditch team and its commentator, Lee Jordan, half-expecting Ron to come bursting through the portrait at any given moment.

The seventh years looked at him strangely. "Don't mind me," Harry said. "I'm just being chased by a furious Ronald Weasley."

"Uh, Harry?" Fred asked. "If you don't mind my asking, why is our brother chasing you?"

"I provoked him on purpose. Don't ask."

The team raised eyebrows as did several other nearby students who happened to be eavesdropping on the conversation.

"Anyway," Alicia said, shooing the other students back to their previous occupations, as she was a prefect. "So what's this about a girlfriend, Harry?" All of the sudden the twins and Lee became very interested in the conversation.

"What girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend," Harry replied in a confused tone.

"Malfoy was talking about- Hermione, oh, hi!"

Harry looked up to his right where Alicia was looking to see Hermione standing next to him. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I came back to the common room, if that's alright with you. I suppose I could ask you why you are completely relaxed?"

"You beat Ron back to the common room is the only reason I asked."

"With the way he ran out of the library after you, like a bat out of hell, I _still_ beat him? How is that possible? I walked."

Harry shrugged and turned around to look over the chair at a huffing and puffing figure entering the portrait hole. "What happened, Ron? I know I'm faster than you, but I didn't know I was that much faster."

"I ran into Snape…literally," Ron grumbled back.

"Ouch," Harry and Hermione said simultaneously.

"How much detention did you get?" George asked almost eager to hear the answer.

"A week's worth, and he didn't even know what he was going to make me do. He's gonna give word in the morning as to what it is."

"Well that's going to be fun now isn't it?" Fred poked.

"Shut up."

"So how was your date?" George joked. Ron raised an eyebrow. "Your date. Harry told us you had a date."

"You mean like going out?" Ron turned to Harry, his face beet red. "Why'd you tell them that? I don't even have anyone to go out with."

"You had a date with a book," Harry smirked moving to the edge of his chair, ready to spring away if Ron began to chase after him again.

Ron glared at Harry but didn't pounce. Harry relaxed and sat back in the chair.

"So why didn't Snape get you, Harry?" Ron asked curiously.

"I think I went by so fast he didn't have a chance to figure out who I was before I turned the next corner," Harry guessed.

"Yeah, that would make sense. You're that fast on foot and broom."

Harry put his elbow on his knee, ran his fingers through his thick jet-black hair, and shook his head slightly. He looked up as someone tapped his shoulder. "Hello, Professor."

"Come with me, Harry. You are the captain," McGonagall whispered. "We are to make the announcement with all in the common room."

Harry nodded and went up the spiral staircase with Professor McGonagall. They gathered all the students, including the first years, out of their dormitories and into the common room. Harry and Professor McGonagall waited on the landing by the dormitories. Harry leaned against the wall, hidden in the shadows.

"Good evening, students. First, I would like to announce that we have a new Quidditch captain, Harry Potter." Harry came out from the shadows and leaned on the railing, an applause rising from the crowd below. "Second, not only will you be judged by myself and our new captain, but you will also be judged by the Chasers and Beaters of the team as well.

"First years are out here because this will apply to them next year as all but two positions, at most, will be open for placement. Later on in the year you might wish to start thinking about if you wish to play on the team and the position you would like to play.

"Good luck to all of you. If you have any questions, feel free to ask the team or myself, thank you."

After Professor McGonagall left, Harry began talking. "I'm not going to force anyone to do this, but I strongly suggest that if you are going to participate in tryouts, that you go to bed. You never know just how bad the tryouts will be."

Harry climbed down the spiral staircase and approached the team. "I expect you to go to bed, too. You guys will be down there a little bit earlier, and we'll talk about what we're going to do to the keepers." He turned to Hermione. "You're welcome to come and if you want to, you can probably run some of the technical things." Hermione nodded and took Harry's previous advice and went to bed. Harry said goodnight to the team and went up to bed himself along with many other students.

******

The next morning, a Saturday, Harry went down to breakfast in the Great Hall, as was now very routine. When owl post came, Hedwig dropped a small rolled piece of parchment with scratchy handwriting on Harry's breakfast plate and landed on Harry's shoulder.

~~~~~

Harry,

Congratulations on becoming the Quidditch captain.

It would be nice if you would come see me at my hut about twelve o'clock. I haven't had a decent chat with you, Ron, or Hermione in what seems like ages! We could take a walk around the grounds and eat lunch at the lake. Have Hedwig send your answer as soon as possible.

Hagrid

~~~~~

Harry read the letter aloud to Ron and Hermione. They agreed to go along, and Harry scribbled 'We'll be there' on the back of the letter and tied it onto Hedwig's leg, and she took off out the window with the letter.

Just after Hedwig had left, a Tawny Owl flew in, landed Hermione with a letter, and flew off. Hermione quickly opened it and read its contents. Her expression changed from joy to sadness in a matter of seconds. She got up from the table without saying a word and rushed out of the Great Hall.

Harry watched for a moment before taking a last bite out of his breakfast, wrapping some toast in a napkin, and hurrying out after Hermione with Ron on his heels.

When the Harry reached the Entrance Hall outside of the Great Hall's doors, he looked left and right, but there was no sign of Hermione anywhere. He turned to Ron.

"You check the library. I'll check the common room," he said.

"Last time something like this happened, we almost got killed by that stupid troll," Ron commented

"And it was our fault she was crying in the first place," Harry replied. Ron nodded and smiled sheepishly as he headed off towards the library. Harry went down the corridor through the tapestries and sliding walls to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Password?" she asked.

"Kuroiro-ryuu," Harry answered quickly, seemingly in a hurry.

As soon as the Fat Lady had opened enough for Harry to fit, he ran into the common room. He looked around the room and found Hermione sitting in a secluded corner of the common room. He walked slowly over to her and crouched down in front of her with one knee on the ground. He reached a hand out and touched her shoulder. She jerked her head up, and Harry saw her eyes were red and puffy from tears.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" he asked her, but all she did was lean back against the wall and allowed more tears to flow down her cheeks.

Harry took his sleeve and wiped away some of her tears. He put his arms around her and let her cry on his shoulder. He didn't know what the letter had said, but he didn't really care. It made his friend unhappy, and he was going to help.

"Hey, Harry! I didn't fin- I guess you found her…. Should I leave you two alone?" Ron asked a seemingly suspicious, but almost jealously, at his two friends. Harry scowled at Ron for making such a comment, especially with such a tone. "Sorry," Ron said, and he walked over to Harry and Hermione.

"Maybe we should sit on the couch instead of in the corner," Harry suggested. Hermione nodded with her face still buried in Harry's shirt. Harry helped Hermione stand and led her to a couch in front of the fire that lit the common room.

Hermione curled her feet under herself and leaned into Harry to cry some more. Harry replaced a comforting arm around her shoulders. Ron sat on the arm of the couch and placed his hand on Hermione's shoulder just above Harry's arm.

"What happened?" Ron asked. Harry shrugged his unoccupied shoulder in reply. "Hermione?"

Hermione buried her head deeper into Harry's shoulder. A few more tears fell before she reached into her pocket and brought out the letter. She handed it to Harry who opened it and read it to himself. Harry was furious. "That jerk!" Harry exclaimed, startling both Ron and Hermione. "I'll take my Firebolt over there and punch his lights out!"

"What?" Ron asked snatching the letter from Harry. He, too, read the letter to himself. "What an idiot! He can't do that! Harry, take me with you to Bulgaria. We'll give him a pair of lights out." Silently, such that Hermione couldn't hear him, Ron mouthed the word "YES!" before placing his hand back on her shoulder. Harry shot a look over Hermione's head at Ron that said, "You're an _idiot_."

"You guys," Hermione spoke for the first time. "You don't have to do anything." Hermione was almost giggling. "It's not really that bad. It's just the way he said it. Krum is just a big arrogant jerk. I don't know why I didn't see it before."

Harry smiled and hugged Hermione. "You're sure you don't want us to go to Bulgaria and punch his lights out for you?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. You two might get hurt."

"I'm so glad you have so much confidence in us, Hermione," Ron joked in a child's voice that earned him a light smack on the shoulder. "Hey, we took out a twelve foot mountain troll in first year. I think we can handle an idiotic eighteen-year-old git like Krum."

"Uh, Ron," Harry said, "we have Quidditch try-outs today. It's almost nine fifteen. We need to leave about in twenty or thirty minutes."

"Do we really?" Ron said twisting Harry's arm into an odd angle over Hermione just to look at Harry's watch. "Woah, you're right. We have to get moving if we're going to make it to the pitch in time."

Harry and Hermione chuckled as they watched Ron trip up the spiral staircase into the dormitory while rushing to get ready for trying out for Keeper. Harry stood up and offered a hand to help Hermione up. She accepted, and they walked up the stairs to the dormitories together.

******

A few explanations of the story: Potions class really has no relevance except for the fact that it shows Snape and Malfoy haven't really changed very much, but Transfigurations has relevance you might pick up on in later parts.

"Kuroiro-ryuu" is 'black dragon' in Japanese. I chose this for two reasons. Harry fought a Hungarian Horntail, which is a black dragon, and Norwegian Ridgebacks are also black.

Hoped you liked this morsel of reading.

Any questions?

Please read (Wait a minute. You've already done that if you're reading this….) and review.

Thanks,

KZerina


	2. Quidditch Trials

Hello, again. It is Saturday. Quidditch try-outs are about to begin. Some of the people trying out are: Ron and Ginny, Colin and Dennis, Seamus, Natalie McDonald (a girl that I only know about from the sorting. She's in Dennis's class), and some people I made up.

Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own anything associated with it.

Pseudomortis

Part 2- Quidditch Trials

By KZerina

***

A few minutes later, just before ten o'clock, the trio headed out the Entrance Hall doors, after finding a bruise on Ron's shin. They walked over Hogwarts's grounds to check in for tryouts.

For a while, the three students walked in silence. Harry was thinking about how to test the Gryffindors on their flying and Keeper skills. He decided distractions would be good, maybe Seeker fly-bys….

Harry's thoughts moved to Ron. How would he react if he didn't make the team? _That could be interesting, _thought Harry.

Then, his thoughts still on Ron, Harry remembered Ron's detention. "Hey, Ron. Snape told you he'd give you word on your detention this morning. You didn't get any did, you?"

Ron shook his head. "We rushed out of there so fast, I didn't get a note from the owls, but I didn't see Snape in the Great Hall either."

"That's strange," Hermione piped in. "Snape's usually in the Great Hall glaring at us. You'd think he'd have gotten into the routine by now." The boys nodded their agreement. "Hey, there's Professor McGonagall!"

"What's she got to do with it, Hermione?" Ron asked confused.

"It was just a comment," she retorted.

As the group moved closer to their teacher, a white spot became larger and more detailed as it zoomed closer. It zipped around Harry's head and gripped his shoulder. "Hey, Hedwig. Why are you here?" Hedwig hooted and turned her head to Ron. Harry smiled and stroked her feathers gently.

As they approached the Transfigurations professor, she held out a rolled piece of parchment out to Ron. "This came for you with Hedwig."

Ron unrolled the parchment and looked at it. "'You will serve your detention with Mr. Filch, cleaning up the first floor bathroom,'" Ron read, "'and you will have detention for a week plus two days, because I couldn't catch your stupid owl. You are lucky that this snowy volunteered to take it.'" Ron scowled. "I'm going to get that owl if it's the last thing I do!"

"Good girl, Hedwig. You saved Ron from getting killed by Snape," Harry told his owl while continuing to stroke her feathers. Hedwig puffed up in pride. "I'd give you something, but I wasn't expecting to need owl treats at Quidditch tryouts. I'll give you one later. 'Kay?" Hedwig hooted a response. "Good."

"Shall we enter the pitch and choose what to do?" Professor McGonagall asked, ushering the students through the players' doors and onto the field.

The rest of the team rushed in, panting, as Harry was about to close the doors. "Sorry, we almost forgot about being here early."

"Sorry, Ron, but I'm going to have to ask you to go practice or something," Harry said. "I can't give you an advantage over the others by knowing what we're doing and then being able to practice it." Ron nodded and grabbed a broom to practice some speed exercises and tricks.

Harry turned back to the team, housemistress, and tryouts technical manager. "So how do we want to test flying and Keeper skills?" he asked.

"For flying," Fred began, "we could test how they dodge by hitting the Bludgers at them."

"And then see how they work with Bludgers while in the goal," George added.

"To test Keeper skills, we could start off easy with our simple tricks," said Angelina.

"Then gradually make our way up to using our best Chaser tricks," Alicia finished.

"Harry, you could be a distraction," Katie stated.

"Seeker fly-bys should do the trick, don't you think?" Harry asked with a smirk that made the team burst out laughing at his goofy expression.

"Weaving in and out would be a good idea, too, Harry," Hermione mentioned. "You're good enough to get out of the way before they hit you if they don't move."

Harry nodded and looked to McGonagall for approval, which she readily gave.

"Alright then, let's get warmed up. Chasers, practice goals and passes. Beaters, hit _a _Bludger back and forth practicing precise targeting. We'll go about ten, then we'll do a few flying exercises!" Harry instructed.

During the ten minutes of position practice, Ron tried to keep up with Harry and attempted some of Harry's complicated twists, turns, climbs, and dives, almost falling off a few times. Once Harry even had to grab Ron's collar to help Ron back on his broom. "Ron, be careful. These are more advanced tricks than they look, and I don't want you getting hurt. 'Kay?" Harry told Ron while hanging upside down with only his legs holding on to the broom.

Ron nodded. "Do you think I could try some of the easier maneuvers? I know I'm never going to be a Seeker, especially with you around, but it'd be fun to try."

Harry grinned. "Up to something a little scary?" Ron nodded vigorously. "I'll go at your speed," Harry smirked. Ron poked his tongue out at his best friend. 

"It's a simple downward dive," Harry explained, "pulling out as late as possible. Make sure you pull out when _you_ have to. Don't wait for me to pull up if you think you're going to plow into the ground, because it would be bad if you did. Got it?"

"Just straight down, pull up when necessary, even if you don't," Ron echoed the instructions given him. "Got it."

Harry and Ron gripped the ends of their brooms tightly. Harry flew a little higher, and Ron tailed him. Harry pushed down on the nose of his Firebolt, and Ron followed suit. They sped to the ground, Harry only a few centimeters in front of Ron.

About four meters (about thirteen feet) from the ground, Ron broke off and pulled out of the dive. Harry noticed and dove faster, pulling out to be perpendicular to his previous path only centimeters from the grass. He stood up and balanced his weight to "broom-surf" across the width of the pitch. Then he jumped up and re-straddled his broom. He shot past Ron almost making him lose his balance.

"Harry! Ten minutes!" Hermione called.

Harry waved in acknowledgement and dived straight toward Hermione who obviously trusted him not to hit her, because she didn't move a muscle, and Harry stopped millimeters away from Hermione and didn't touch her with so much as a bristle of the tail of his broom.

"Thanks, Hermione. You did exactly what you were supposed to do," Harry said while dismounting to give more instructions to the team.

Hermione smiled. "You should know by now that I trust you not to hurt me on purpose like that," she said and playfully smacked Harry on the shoulder.

Harry smiled back and slowly shook his head before turning to the team. "Alright, team," announced Harry. "We're going to do some weaving. We'll all line up with the middle goal posts. The person who ends up closest to the far posts will go first. Weave through each of the posts, come back, weave between each of team members, through the other set of goal posts, and to the end of the line. The next person in line go when the one ahead of you is about half way through the course. Any questions?" There was a shake of heads. "Good. Let's go."

Harry mounted his Firebolt and kicked off. The team spaced themselves out enough for another team member to pass between. They finished the exercise just in time to start the tryouts.

The team landed, and Professor McGonagall addressed the group of possible Keepers. "Keeper is an important job. This is why we need to…"

McGonagall's voice trailed off as Harry zoned in on what Hermione was suggesting. "We should make them dive and do fly-bys or shoot Bludgers at them," she said. "See how well they can recover if their brooms are knocked off course or something. The Keepers are targets, like Seekers, to get out of a game. Then the other team can score goals more easily."

Harry nodded a little. He put his fingers under Hermione's chin and put his face close to hers. "You are so smart," he said. "That's one of the reasons I invited you." He tapped the end of Hermione's nose and spun around to talk to Professor McGonagall. He almost didn't hear the snort Hermione gave as he was walking away.

Harry waited until Professor McGonagall had finished speaking before whispering his intentions to her. She nodded her agreement and instructed him to begin the tryouts.

"Fred! George! You two are up!" Harry called to his Beaters as he released one of the Bludgers from its restraints. It shot into the air and the Weasley twins automatically took control of it, so that it wouldn't randomly hit someone in the head, sending them to the Hospital Wing.

"Now," Harry announced, "one at a time we are going to test how you avoid being hit by a Bludger. We will do what we can to avoid you getting hurt, but we can't guarantee that you won't get a few scrapes and/or bruises, and unfortunately, worse can happen in games." Harry rubbed his left hand over his right elbow, remembering Lockhart's reaction to his broken arm. "We'll call you alphabetically. Julie Brookes, you're first."

Julie, a third year, swallowed hard and stepped forward. She mounted her broom and shot up in the air and hovered between the Weasley twins.

Harry mounted and shot up as well. He hovered above Fred Weasley and signaled George to begin. The girl dodged every Bludger hit at her. Harry pointed to the goal to indicate where she needed to be. Again, the girl dodged every Bludger.

Harry called the next Gryffindor, Brianna Caihille, another third year, and the routine continued throughout the other ten Gryffindors trying out for the Keeper position.

When Ron, the last of the twelve, had finished his dodging of Bludgers, Harry and the Weasley twins, with the Bludger following them, landed as the three Chasers took to the air to place themselves to shoot goals. Harry tossed the Quaffle into the air, and Angelina caught it and took it up into the air with her.

"Now we will be testing your Keeper skills," Harry said while trying not to laugh at the Weasley twins' comments about the Bludger. "You will be in the goal and trying to block the Chasers' goal attempts. Julie."

Julie, seeming to be a bit more confident, went into the air and hovered near the goal posts.

Harry walked over to Fred and George. "You two, when I nod at you, smack a Bludger at them. Sometimes, I'll do a fly-by; others, I'll get both of them, so stay sharp and _on the ground._" The brothers nodded.

Harry mounted his Firebolt and hovered above Julie. The Chasers watched their captain. Harry mouthed the 'go,' and Angelina tossed the Quaffle, which Julie blocked. After about ten shots and blocks, Harry dove down past Julie, and she missed blocking the next three goals. The Chasers shot seven more goals, and Julie missed blocking two of them.

Harry motioned for Julie to sit down and called up Brianna. She missed two out of the first set of ten shots, and three out of the second with one Bludger flying her way.

Harry looked down and saw Hermione recording numbers and other deciding information. Hedwig was perched on her shoulder, looking as though she was watching the tryouts.

Tyler Carson, a third year, almost received a Bludger to the head while trying to block one of his ten distraction goals. He almost hit Harry another time, but Harry swerved out of the way just in time to not get hit.

Colin Creevey, Harry's fourth year admirer, was next, and he was able to catch all of his first set of ten and caught six of his second set with a Bludger and a fly-by.

Colin's brother, Dennis, was up next. He missed four out of his first ten and six of his second with two Bludgers by his head and a Seeker by his side.

Seamus Finnigan blocked all ten of his first set. He missed one of the second set, but not because of distractions.

Dustin Matthews, a second year with Dennis, missed three of the first and three of the second, only one was the result of avoiding a distraction method.

Natalie McDonald, another second year, was unable to block five of the first set and five of the second with and early Bludger and a late Seeker fly-by.

Next was the oldest Gryffindor trying out, Lance Starrz, a sixth year. He caught every Quaffle out of twenty shots with six distractions, two Bludgers, two fly-bys, and two with both. Harry was impressed with this sixth year. He had a lot of potential to become the new Keeper, but there were still three Gryffindors left to test.

Lizzy Tenax, a girl from Ginny's class, was next. She proved to be pretty good, but there was room for improvement. She only missed two goals from the second half of shots.

Ginny was second to last only to Ron. She blocked all but one of the distractions because she was avoiding one of her brothers' Bludgers.

Ron, like Lance, blocked every single goal attempt. Harry used the same tactics with Ron as he had used with Lance. Ron also used a little style when blocking which gave him a few bonus points.

Harry landed and jogged over by Hermione. He looked over her shoulder at the marks she had down. Hedwig moved to his shoulder from Hermione's.

"You still have one more tryout obstacle, Harry," Hermione said while Harry read the parchment in her hands.

"I know. Just checking up on what's happening with each Keeper," Harry replied, continuing to peruse the markings on the paper. Harry nodded and walked back to the group of Keepers. "One last test," he said.

"Excuse me?" said Dustin Matthews. "Do you know you have an owl on your shoulder?"

"Yes, I do. Thank you. I'm sure she appreciates the attention," Harry answered the second year's question. Hedwig puffed her feathers out. Harry just rolled his eyes at her and sighed.

"We'll go reverse alphabetical this time," Harry continued shooting a mischievous look at a nervous Ron. "This will prepare you for one last thing we think a Keeper should know. All you have to do is go up and 'expect the unexpected.' Ron, you're up first."

Ron gulped and mounted his broom. He took off and hovered in about the center of the pitch. Harry mounted his Firebolt and hovered above Ron. Hedwig fluttered onto Harry's broom handle. The rest of the team formed a loose ring around Ron, making him even more nervous.

Harry made a few hand signals, and the team followed the pattern perfectly, forcing Ron to plummet to the ground. Harry watched carefully as Ron was falling. Ron pulled out effortlessly and returned to hovering in the middle of the reformed ring of Quidditch players. Harry smiled and motioned for Ron to land.

After touching down, Ron suddenly stiffened. "Hey! Who let the Snitch out?" he shouted.

Harry searched the ground for the familiar golden glint of the Snitch. He found it in Hermione's hand while she shouted that it wasn't let out before quickly shoving it back into its container.

Harry returned his gaze to the ground searching for something that could have been mistaken for the Snitch. He spotted a small brownish blur zipping around the stadium.

"Did you find anything, Harry?" George asked. "Was it another Snitch that the Slytherins let loose maybe?"

"Yes I found it, and I guess you could call him Snitch if you really wanted. He's the right size for it."

"Well if it's not the Snitch, then what is it?" Fred asked impatiently.

"It's Ron's owl."

The twins burst out laughing. They began laughing so hard they doubled over their brooms and landed so they wouldn't fall to the ground.

"Hedwig?" The snowy owl hooted indignantly. "I suggest that you get off the broom, unless you really _want_ to go zooming at top speed." Hedwig immediately flew up and hovered near Harry's head. "You can sit up here again when I come back." Hedwig hooted with delight and gently nipped Harry's ear. Harry smiled at his owl and then dove at top speed after the strangely fuzzy Snitch of an owl.

Pig must have noticed Harry was chasing him, because he sped up and banked hard, not realizing that Harry was already on his small, feathery tail. Everyone watched as Harry sped around after the little owl. Finally Harry caught up and encircled Pig with his fist while being careful not to hurt the hyperactive post owl.

Harry zoomed down and pushed Pig into Ron's chest. "Ron, please keep your owl in check. If he gets loose, _you_ get to chase him down."

Ron quickly closed his hands around Pig and nodded at Harry. Ron took Pig out of the stadium, scolding him all the way to the door. Ron threw the tiny bird into the air, getting him to go back to the owlery.

Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Come on, Ginny. You're up."

Ginny and the rest of the Gryffindors were all able to pull out of the plunge without too many problems. The younger Gryffindors had a little more trouble pulling up than the older students, and Harry got ready to dive down after them and catch them before they smashed into the ground, but, luckily, he didn't ever actually have to catch them.

After the last person had completed her dive, Harry landed and the team gathered up with both Hermione and Professor McGonagall who went to dismiss the dismiss the Gryffindor students that tried out.

Hermione set the parchment out on the grass. Harry crouched beside her and the team huddled around the two fifth years. "From what I observed," Hermione started, "Ron, Ginny, and Lance Starrz are the best for the position. Ginny only missed one because she remembered that she was more important than a lousy ten points and moved away from the Bludger. Ron and Lance both dodged and saved the goal."

"I say go with Lance," Angelina piped up. "Now there's absolutely nothing wrong with Ginny or Ron, but they fly a lot like Chasers. They should try out next year."

"Angelina's right. The extra style Ron put into his goal saving was Chaser material, and Ginny though she didn't use tricks in the goal, she still flew like a Chaser. The way she was flying was definite Chaser flying," Alicia confirmed. Katie nodded her agreement.

"Now that you say that, they do seem to fly like you three," Harry observed. "Anything about Lance? He seems to be a bit like Oliver, or at least the way he uses his skills. I don't know about his attitude."

"I think he's a pretty good choice," Fred commented.

"As long as he doesn't try to be an oppressive captain, even when the position is _not_ his," George added.

Harry laughed lightly at the remark. "Trust you to think of that side of him," Harry joked. "What do you three think?"

"He's the best choice. He doesn't fly like a Chaser or a Beater, and he's not the build for a Seeker even if the position would be open before he graduates," Katie said. Angelina and Alicia approved with nods of their heads.

"I think they're right," Hermione inserted. "I've watched enough of your matches to have a pretty good impression of each position's flying and skills, and he had the right skills for a Keeper."

"So Lance Starrz for the new Gryffindor Keeper?" Harry asked the team. Everyone including Hermione, nodded. "Alright, I'll inform Professor McGonagall, and she can send out the letters."

Harry stood up and walked over to Professor McGonagall who had gone to supervise the group of Gryffindors who had tried out. "Professor," Harry called. Professor McGonagall strode over to Harry. "We have chosen Lance Starrz to be the Keeper."

"I do believe he is a good choice. He seems to have skills to rival those of a certain Oliver Wood. I will go write up the letters. They should be received on Monday morning." Professor McGonagall smiled at him and walked back to the Gryffindors, and Harry returned to the team.

"That's it. You guys can go," he informed them. The twins and the Chasers grabbed their brooms and put them away before leaving.

Harry looked at his watch. It read eleven thirty. "Hermione, we have to get moving, we have half and hour to be at Hagrid's."

"Let's grab Ron and go!" Hermione exclaimed, grabbing Harry's wrist and pulling him down the field towards Ron. Harry was barely able to grab his Firebolt on the way.

When they reached Ron, Hermione grabbed Ron's wrist and began dragging both of them over to the Hagrid's hut to meet their half-giant friend.

"Hermione, we can walk by ourselves!" Ron complained. "Let go!"

"We are _not_ going to be late to visit Hagrid!" Hermione retorted.

"Well I think he would rather us be a few minutes late than show up as sweaty as a couple of over-worked pack horses," Harry commented, pulling his shirt away from his body to which it was sticking. "That, and it is definitely more pleasurable to _not _be around someone sweating like a pack horse. Sometimes it was hard to stand myself after an Oliver Wood practice."

"I guess you're right," Hermione conceded and began dragging them to the castle. "You and the rest of the team never were fun to hang around right after you came back after a practice."

"Hence showers. Now if you don't mind, Ron and I both need one. I'll use the Boys' Prefects' bathroom, Ron can use the dorm bathroom, and you can use either the dorm or the Girls' Prefects' bathroom if you want to shower," Harry told her. "We shouldn't be more than twenty minutes."

In a few minutes, they reached the portrait. Hermione gave the password, and they entered. Harry ran up to his dorm, grabbed a set of clean clothes, and dashed to the Prefects' bathroom. He took a quick shower and got dressed. He brushed through his messy hair that was only temporarily tamed, for it would soon return to its normal shaggy self. He went back to Gryffindor Tower and dropped off his sweat-soaked clothes and met up with Ron and Hermione, both had wet hair and clean clothes.

Harry again checked his watch. It read eleven fifty-five. "We've got five minutes. Come on," Harry said exiting the portrait. The trio rushed out across the grounds towards Hagrid's hut.

They met at the entrance to the hut where Hagrid and Fang were waiting for them. Fang barked his familiar greeting, and Hagrid clapped them each on the back.

"Sorry, we're a little late, Hagrid. Tryouts ran about a half an hour over," Harry apologized.

"No need ter apologize. Yer only a couple minutes late if tha' much," Hagrid replied, "Le's go 'ave lunch." Soon, they were off on their trek across the grounds.

After about half an hour of walking and talking, they stopped at the lake and sat on the shore, watching the giant squid bob up to get a better look at them. Fang busied himself with digging in the wet, sandy soil while Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Hagrid ate lunch, which consisted of ham and cheese sandwiches, some fruit, and pumpkin juice as a beverage.

After eating, the four sat and talked about how the Quidditch team was going. Then somehow the subject went onto Krum and Hermione's letter. Hagrid agreed with both boys at how much of a jerk Krum was and that he didn't know what he was going to miss because he broke up with Hermione. Hermione blushed when those comments were made.

They continued talking and after a while Harry looked at his watch and realized it was three o'clock in the afternoon. The trio helped Hagrid clean up the picnic and got ready to go back to the dormitory when Harry, Ron, and Hermione were magically shoved into the lake.

Harry struggled to reach the surface, but when he did, he couldn't break the water to breathe. He sank lower as his lungs began to burn with the lack of oxygen. He tried to reach the surface once more, but he was unable to reach it. He felt slight tug on his arm, before his eyes shut, turning everything pitch black, as consciousness left him….

******

It's a cliffhanger, sorry for those who hate them. I hope to get the next part up soon so I'll try not to leave you hanging in midair for long. I'll take you down eventually.

It may be a little while to post part three. I have to figure out where to end the thing. Sorry, you might be hanging for a while.

Anyway, thanks for reading and please review. If you have any questions, send them in a review or e-mail, and I'll get back to you as soon as I have a chance.

Thanks, KZerina


	3. Awakening

Hello, yet again. It is now Sunday morning at Hogwarts. It starts getting more interesting in this part. We find out what happened to Harry after the others were finally able to get him out of the water and the strange reactions to it. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own anything associated with it.

Pseudomortis

Part 3- Awakening

By KZerina

***

When Harry awoke, he was lying on his bed in his dormitory. He sat up slowly and glanced around. He saw Ron staring blankly at the ceiling as though totally depressed about something.

Neville walked past the end of Harry's bed with a similar expression. Harry waved at him in greeting, but Neville either took no notice of it or ignored it. Harry thought it was only because Neville never really pays much attention anyway.

Harry decided he would try to cheer Ron up. He got up off his bed and stood next to Ron's. He waved his hand in Ron's face to get his attention from the daze he was obviously in. Since that didn't work, he reached to tap Ron's shoulder, but his hand passed right through.

Harry looked wide-eyed at his flat-gray transparent hand before saying, "Uh…."

"I must miss him a lot already. I think I'm hearing him," Ron muttered as he sighed loudly.

"Miss who?" Harry asked confused as to what Ron was talking about.

"I think I'm going insane. I keep hearing his voice." Ron propped himself up on his elbows as he said this.

"If you're going insane, so are we," Seamus said nervously.

Ron turned his head to look at Seamus and Neville. "You're hearing him, too?" Neville and Seamus nodded. "I think we need to go see Madam Pomfrey," Ron said getting up and walking out the door with Neville and Seamus right behind him.

Harry followed them out the door and stopped abruptly as the door closed right through him.

Ginny and Hermione were standing just outside the dormitories. Hermione had a similar expression as Ron had worn in the dormitory before walking out the door only with streams of tears on either side of her face.

"You guys look like you've seen a ghost," Ginny remarked as her brother and the other two boys walked by.

"And what is wrong with seeing a ghost?" asked Nick, floating down in front of the girls and startling them.

"Nothing. That's just not a look my brother would have if he had seen one of the usual ghosts, like you or the ghoul in the attic at home," Ginny explained.

"Oh. Well, that's fine," Nick replied as he took a look around. "Good morning to you, Harry!"

"Y-you can see me?" Harry stuttered in surprise.

"Well, of course! Why wouldn't I be able to see you?" Nick replied.

Harry stared wide-eyed at Nick. "It seems like no one else can see me, so I guess I didn't expect you to be able to either."

"Come with me, and we'll try to figure this out," Nick said as he walked through a nearby wall.

Harry looked where Nick had gone, then at the girls who nearly had their jaws on the floor. They obviously couldn't believe what they were hearing.

"Well, come on then!" Nick grabbed Harry's wrist. "If you hit the wall, that's a good thing. It means you are definitely _not _dead."

Harry yelped when Nick pulled him through the wall, and they soon arrived in an empty room draped with old, stringy cobwebs and furnished with chair with splintered wood and tattered seat cushions.

"Harry, just wait here a minute. I'll be right back with a few more ghosts," Nick told Harry before disappearing through the far wall.

Harry took another look around the cobweb filled room. He saw a large desk with four of the ragged chairs placed in an orderly fashion, and Harry began to wonder what the room had been used for before it had been abandoned and what it was used for now.

Then, as though they had been reading Harry's mind, several ghosts appeared and took places above a few chairs, as they cannot actually sit in them. Then, the Gray Lady (Ravenclaw's ghost), the Fat Friar, Nick, and Myrtle appeared through the wall. Myrtle picked a chair near Harry, and the three House ghosts sat behind the desk. The last to arrive was the Bloody Baron who took the remaining seat behind the large desk.

"All right! All right! Quiet everyone!" the Baron called across the room. "An emergency ghost council has been called today!"

Harry looked around nervously at the whispering ghosts. He was almost worried about what they might think, and he wasn't quite sure he wanted to know.

"It seems as though our resident Hogwarts celebrity, Harry Potter, has…well…not been himself," the Baron went on while trying to be polite, "and it seems he needs our help to get fully acquainted with his new form. He is having a little trouble adjusting."

The Bloody Baron floated up out of his place at the desk. Harry watched as the Baron glided up to be face-to-face with Harry. "What we need to do is get you visible to the live'uns," he said. "That should be good enough, because that's about all you need to know for now. Don't you think so?" the Baron asked the other ghosts. They nodded, and the Baron turned back to Harry.

The Baron thought a moment. "First, think of a live'un that you should need to talk to," the Baron instructed. Harry's mind immediately went to Ron, and Harry nodded for the Baron to continue. "Now, this person is standing in front of you. You need to talk to him or her, and your disembodied voice is very unnerving to him or her." Harry gave a half-smile, because Ron really was scared of his disembodied voice.

The Baron told him to concentrate on being visible to Ron. Harry nodded and closed his eyes. As he concentrated, he felt his fingers and toes begin to tingle. The tingle flowed up along his arms and legs and began on his head as well. Minutes later, Harry opened his eyes after the tingling had left him. He saw, now, that instead of a flat gray, he was as pearly white as the other ghosts in the room.

A roar of applause filled the room as all the ghosts cheered for Harry's accomplishment. They were pleased to have another full-fledged ghost haunting Hogwarts.

Myrtle tugged on Harry's robes and offered to share her toilet in the first floor girls' bathroom, but Harry politely refused and promised to visit more often now that he had more time on his hands.

"Since you are now dead," the Bloody Baron announced, "we are officially making you part of the ghost council, and you are allowed to join in any and all meetings held by the ghosts." Another loud applause filled the room before the Baron continued. "This meeting is adjourned. See you all next time."

All the ghosts left except for Nick who approached Harry. "Congratulations, Harry. Shall we return to Gryffindor Tower?" he asked.

Harry nodded, and Nick led the way back to the Gryffindor dormitories. Very few Gryffindors noticed as Harry and Nick passed by. Those who did notice didn't seem to care. Nick left Harry in his dormitory with a small good bye.

Harry went over to Ron's bed and waved his hand in front of Ron's face, and this time, Ron jumped so much that he bounced nearly high enough off the bed to go right through Harry's hand. Ron whimpered and dove onto the floor opposite Harry and poked his eyes over the side of the bed.

"Relax, Ron. It's only me," Harry reassured his jumpy friend. "Geez, you'd think I was going to bite your head off like Fluffy was going to."

Ron's sudden burst of energy aroused Neville, Dean, and Seamus as well, and they, too, seemed to be cowering in fear at the sight of Harry's transparent body.

"I'm not going to hurt you guys! It's me! Harry!" he exclaimed, slightly angered at his friends' inability to recognize him.

Slowly the four boys crept out of their hiding spots behind the bed and up to Harry. All four of the boys stared with eyes wide and jaws dropped at their ghost friend who was floating in midair by Ron's bed.

"Do I have to owl an Australian wizardry school and have them send your jaws back to Hogwarts?" Harry joked, and the boys closed their mouths.

"It really is you, isn't it?" Ron asked quietly. Harry nodded in response. "If I could hug you I would! But you're kind of not…solid."

"I noticed that when Nick pulled me through the wall," Harry replied.

"You should go torment my brothers. They'd get a kick out of being scared out of their trousers," Ron suggested.

"That's a good idea!" Harry said. He gave a mischievous smirk and turned invisible. He floated out the wall and stopped abruptly on the other side. He glanced at the Gryffindors around the room and changed his mind about tormenting the Weasley twins. Most of the Gryffindors were playing boring games of Wizard's Chess or Exploding Snap.

"And I thought Gryffindors were the most exciting in the whole school," Harry said from the rafters of Gryffindor Tower. "I guess this proves me wrong."

The Gryffindors looked around frantically, searching for the mysterious sound. The male seventh year prefect came out of his dormitory and began yelling at Peeves for trying to imitate Harry, and that he would get the Baron if he didn't go away.

"How dare you call me Peeves? Why would you want to insult me like that?" Harry asked in a mock snobby tone of voice. "I am _not_ Peeves, thank you very much."

Harry temporarily made himself visible to the prefect. The prefect frowned and bolted back into his dormitory and didn't come back out for a while. Harry shrugged his shoulders and continued talking to the Gryffindors in the common room. "So what happened to all the Gryffindor spirit?"

Ron, Neville, Seamus, and Dean walked out of the fifth year boys' dormitory chatting excitedly. Then they realized exactly how loud they were, especially when compared to the totally silent common room.

Ron's eyes gazed in different directions around the common room, no doubtingly for signs of Harry. "Harry, where are you? I thought you were going to annoy my brothers."

Harry made himself visible and floated down to Ron's eyelevel. "I _was_, but I changed my mind."

The seventh year prefect must have heard Harry and Ron talking because he poked his head out the door and looked right at the group of boys gathered at the top of the spiral staircase. Harry watched as the prefect's eyes went wide at the sight of Harry floating in midair. Again he bolted into his dormitory, but this time, he returned with some other seventh year boys, and they gawked at Harry. Harry decided that their random decision to watch him was rather annoying, so he made himself invisible.

"Harry, when the four of us got back from visiting Madam Pomfrey, Ginny came and told us that Hermione wasn't taking things too well," Ron explained. "It became especially bad this morning when she heard you talking to Nick. She thought she was thinking about you too much and started crying even harder. Ginny can't even get her to come out of her dormitory."

Harry again made himself visible, a look of disappointment on his face. "Well we'll have to do something about that then, won't we?" Harry said flatly. "You guys want to come with?"

Neville, Seamus, and Dean hesitated about going into the girls' dormitory, but Ron immediately jumped up and ran to the door. He knocked, opened it slightly, and peeked in, Harry right behind him. Ginny looked up at the sound of the door and invited the boys in with a nod of her head. It was obvious that she hadn't seen Harry because she looked back Hermione who was sitting on the bed and crying into the pillow that she clutched tightly to herself while Crookshanks curled up in her lap doing his best to comfort his owner.

Ron walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed next to Ginny and gently shook Hermione to try to get her attention. It didn't work; she kept her face buried in her pillow and didn't even groan to indicate for him to go away. He tapped her again, still receiving no response.

Ron looked at Ginny who shrugged. He looked up at Harry. "Do you want to try?"

For the first time during the boys' visit, Ginny saw Harry floating just above her head. She screamed loudly and jumped, accidentally landing in a surprised Dean's arms.

Ginny's scream caused Neville to scream and throw up his arms and hide behind Seamus who was, by this time, very confused.

Ginny's scream also caused Hermione to break out of her trance. She slipped onto the floor. In the process of falling, Hermione dumped Crookshanks on the floor. Crookshanks yowled loudly as Hermione landed on his tail. 

Harry went down and floated in front of Hermione. "Are you okay?" he asked her.

Hermione looked up, and upon seeing his glowing tennis shoes and slightly baggy pants, she gasped and dropped to the floor, her head landing on the dropped pillow, but making a sickening clunk just the same.

Harry crouched down behind the bed, and Ginny crouched beside him. Ron dove and leaned over the edge of the bed and peered down at the fainted Hermione. "Is she okay?" he asked.

"I don't know," Harry replied. "I can't exactly check, remember? I'm not solid." Harry waved a hand through Ron's head.

"Oh, right." Ron reached down off the bed and gently nudged Hermione's shoulder and called her name.

"What kind of ruckus are you making in here?" an angry voice came from behind them.

Harry poked his head up such that he could see the door. He saw Alicia Spinnet, the female seventh year prefect, standing in the doorway, and she didn't look very happy.

Harry jumped up. "Hey, Alicia! Could you help us get Herm-maybe not," he said as Alicia, too, fell to the floor.

"Well, there goes another one," Seamus said looking down at Alicia.

"You really seem to have that effect on people today, don't you, Harry?" Ron joked.

"So I noticed," Harry replied flatly.

"Well, what should we do?" Neville asked nervously.

"Go get a teacher," Harry replied calmly. "And I'm going to disappear. We don't need anyone else fainting on us."

Neville ran out of the girls' dormitory to retrieve Professor McGonagall. Seamus and Dean tried to wake up Alicia, and Ron and Ginny tried to wake Hermione. Soon Neville returned with Professor McGonagall right behind him. She seemed to be worried about her students and possibly why they fainted.

"What happened in here boys?" she asked sternly, as if they had done something wrong.

"Hermione and Alicia fainted," Ron answered, pointing at the two girls lying on the floor unconscious.

"Oh dear. What caused them to faint?"

"Do _you_ promise not to faint?" Harry asked.

Professor McGonagall looked around intently and nodded slowly. Harry made himself visible on the end of Hermione's bed. The Transfigurations teacher stared at him for a moment. Harry swore she was going to faint, too, before she smiled. "You'd think they'd be happy to see you."

"That's what I was thinking. I think I surprised them just by being here," Harry explained. "I didn't mean to. It just sort of…happened."

"It's alright, Harry," Professor McGonagall said. "They just need to be reintroduced. They are not used to seeing this form of you."

Professor McGonagall pointed her wand at Hermione and woke her up. She repeated the process with Alicia. Both girls were groggy.

When Hermione came to her senses and looked up at her bed, she was overwhelmed and jumped to hug Harry. Needless to say, she went right through his body and landed on the floor between Harry and Professor McGonagall.

"You're non-corporeal (A/N: not physical)," she said almost sadly when she looked back up at Harry. "And you're sitting on my bed, not floating above it."

Harry was confused for a moment. Then he looked down and realized he was actually sitting on the mattress. "I was touching the floor and rafter beams too," Harry realized. "That's really strange."

"Yeah, I thought ghosts couldn't touch things," Ron said in confusion.

"What's going on, Professor?" asked Alicia, finally coming out of her grogginess and into reality.

"It's nothing, Alicia," Professor McGonagall replied. "You needn't worry. Harry has just joined us as a ghost."

"So it _was_ you who was talking to us in the common room." Harry nodded. "That's great!" Alicia continued. "Now you can help us pick a new Seeker! After all, you are the best Seeker we've ever had. You know what qualities a Seeker should have." She turned to Professor McGonagall. "Is it all right if I tell the other Gryffindors?"

"I think I will tell them. I'm sure they'd all like to rush up here to see him, and I wish them not to say anything to any other house for the time being. Harry gets to decided when they know."

Harry rested his elbows on his knees and his chin in hands and watched Professor McGonagall as she left the room with Alicia to announce his presence to the Gryffindors in the common room. Then, he disappeared and followed.

Before Professor McGonagall began her announcement, Harry asked her if she would like some visual aid to get the Gryffindors to believe her story. She nodded and told him she would signal when he should appear.

Harry relaxed on the railing, meant to keep students from falling, while McGonagall made her message.

"Well it appears I don't have to ask for silence, being that you are all quiet already. I have an announcement to make concerning our fellow Gryffindor, Harry Potter. It seems he has decided to visit us here at Hogwarts." The common room filled with whispers. "He is actually here next to me somewhere even though we cannot see him. Harry?" Now the Gryffindors gasped as Harry became visible. "I don't want you all rushing up here to see him. I assure you, he does not want to be overwhelmed by a gaggle of galloping Gryffindors."

"We shall grant a galleon," Fred started, "to the first student who can gallantly gab the phrase that the great, gracious…"

"And glorious!" George added.

"Good God!" McGonagall exclaimed at the enormous amount of 'g's in the twins' sentence.

"McGonagall gifted to us five times fast." (A/N: I know this sounds weird, but it's supposed to. It's the twins!)

"And the Gryffindors gang up on Gred and Forge because they are acting like teachers' pets," Harry mocked.

"We try," Fred replied with a huge grin spread across his face. George had a similar expression and was acting as though he was very bashful.

"I believe I will leave you to yourself, Harry. I'm sure you can handle the many Gryffindors with your newly acquired abilities as a ghost."

"Yeah, I'm thinking I probably can," Harry replied. "I'll find someway out." Professor McGonagall smiled and nodded her head before turning around and walking away.

To Harry's surprise, there wasn't a gush of students climbing the spiral staircase. In fact, it was exactly the opposite; no one flooded up to greet him. Everyone but the twins was too shocked to bother. All they did was stare at him.

"What? You're all acting like you've never seen a ghost before, and I know you have all seen at least Nick before," Harry commented at the staring Gryffindors who just blinked. "Okay then…um…."

Harry, slightly unnerved by the reaction, tried to find Ron and Hermione. They weren't on the landing of the staircase or on the ground at the bottom of the long spiral. He floated through the wall of the girls' dormitory and found them there, alone. Harry wasn't quite sure what was going on, but he had a pretty good idea and left to talk to Neville, Seamus, and Dean, letting his two best friends have their privacy.

Minutes later, Ron came into the dormitory, looking slightly embarrassed, but happy at the same time. Harry wasn't nearly as confused as the other three boys in the dormitory, and he wasn't going to explain, as Ron might not want them to know, and for all Harry knew, he wasn't supposed to know either.

As time passed, it came to be noon. Neville, Seamus, and Dean left to eat, but Ron convinced them that he wasn't hungry. Harry stayed behind with Ron because he didn't have to eat, being a ghost.

"What'd she say, Ron?" Harry asked out of the blue and confusing Ron quite a bit.

"What do you mean, 'what'd she say'?" Ron asked in reply.

"I mean 'what'd she say'. You were talking to Hermione, and it wasn't hard to figure out what you were talking about. I mean, you were _alone_, for God's sake!"

"How do you know I talked to her? Were you spying on us?"

"No, I wasn't. I was looking for you. I found you and figured you'd like some privacy, so I left."

"Oh. Well at least you have some common sense. She said she'd think about it which means there is some hope of a 'yes'."

"I figured out that last part, Ron." Harry sighed. Why was he feeling this strange jealousy? He was dead! Besides, it would never happen anyway, so why was he even thinking these things?

"Harry, what's wrong?" Ron asked with a concerned tone slipped into his voice.

"Nothing, Ron. It's nothing," Harry replied. "Are you sure you're not hungry?" Harry asked, trying to get his mind off his two best friends.

"Well, now that you mention it…" Ron's stomach growled noisily. "…I guess I am a little hungry."

"You call that a little? Geez, Ron, if that's a little hungry, then I'd hate to see you a _lot_ hungry."

"Oh shut up!" Ron threw his pillow at an unsuspecting Harry.

Harry, who had closed his eyes, felt the pillow pass through his gaseous body. He merely looked down at his bed where the pillow had landed with a soft plop. "And that was supposed to do _what_ exactly?"

"I have no idea, actually. I think I'm just too used to you being solid and really hitting you with the pillow, rather than it landing on the bed after going through you."

"Yeah, I guess. Come on, let's get down to lunch."

"Are you sure you want to go? I mean only the Gryffindors know you're a ghost. I'm not sure the other houses know you're…dead. What are you going to do?"

"Go invisible and annoy the heck out of you with my disembodied voice," Harry said while slowly fading from Ron's sight.

"Harry, don't do that!"

"Do what?" Harry picked up the pillow that now looked like it was floating in midair. He flung it across the room and hit Ron in the face.

Ron practically pushed the pillow back on the head of his bed. "_That_ for one. A one-sided pillow fight isn't really fun. And for two, don't just randomly become invisible like that. It's kind of annoying."

"Sorry, but I'm not leaving the Tower visible yet. I'm just going to see what's going on first, and then I'll decide what I'm going to do. 'Kay, Ron?"

"I get it!" Ron exclaimed.

"How amazing. Ron actually understands something," Harry jibed, trying to get Ron to throw something else, preferably soft.

"Shut up! Just shut up! Let's get out of here before I make anymore stupid comments to get myself into more trouble."

"But I thought stupid comments were your specialty."

Ron seemed to be angry. Harry worked very hard to keep his laughs under control. Ron calmed down just before they reached the Great Hall, which was good because then Ron would not get stared at for yelling at thin air and thought to be going insane by all houses, but Gryffindor.

When Ron reached the Gryffindor House table, he took a seat next to Hermione and Neville. Harry floated in the air behind his two friends. Hermione smiled at Ron and slipped a piece of paper into Ron's hand. It was no doubt her answer to his question from earlier. Harry wasn't going to ask until later.

"Hey, Harry," Hermione said without turning around.

"How'd you know I was here?"

Hermione sighed and looked down at her plate. "Why wouldn't you come? You can be invisible and the other houses would never know you were here. Why wouldn't you come and see your friends?"

"Very good point. I will continue to annoy Ron with my disembodied voice now," Harry joked as Ron was hunched over gaining a strange expression every time Harry spoke. "Oh just eat, Ron." Ron cringed and grabbed some food from the platter in front of him.

Harry didn't say anything more until Ron was finished eating. Things might not have been pretty if he had talked while Ron was putting food in his mouth. Harry didn't even want to think about what could have happened.

Soon Ron and Hermione were finished eating, and the trio headed back to Gryffindor Tower. Once they were in, Harry became visible again.

"Thank you! It is so annoying when you're invisible. I hate the voice without a body!" Ron exclaimed.

"Thanks for the hint, Ron. Now I have another trick to annoy you with," Harry replied, attaining a growl from his red-haired friend. 

"Hey guys, I'm going to do some research," Hermione said. "I'll see you guys later!" Hermione ran upstairs to her dormitory and came back down with a quill, a bottle of ink, and a roll of parchment. She opened the portrait and left without another word.

Ron watched as Hermione ran out. He averted his gaze to the floor and furrowed his brow in thought. "But we don't have any papers due," he said finally, breaking out of his thoughtful daze.

"Since when has that stopped Hermione?"

"True. Come on, Harry. Let's go up to the dormitory," Ron said heading up the spiral staircase to the dormitories.

Harry brushed past Ron and flew through the ceiling into the dormitory. Ron came up a few seconds later and flopped on his bed. He opened the note from Hermione and read it quickly before stuffing it into a sock among a ball of many pairs socks that lay within his sock drawer.

Harry stared, puzzled, at Ron. "Um, what did you do that for?"

"I don't want anyone getting it, so I hid it very well in the drawer," Ron explained. "Is there something wrong with protecting my personal life?"

"Ron, I already know what it is, and there is no one else in here," Harry said. Just then, Neville rushed into the room and began tearing things out of his trunk, looking for something. "I stand corrected. Neville is also in here. I'll wait to find out the exact wording. Do you need help Neville?"

"Yeah, I've lost Trevor again," Neville answered.

"You always lose that stupid toad," Ron said in a deadpan tone. "Don't you have a tank or something to keep him in?"

"I lost that, too."

"When we find him, put a leash on him," Harry suggested with his half of his body under the bed and his feet sticking up in the air above the bed.

"And tie him to the bed post," Ron added.

"I tried that once. He still got away."

"Then you should put a bell on him. Then you could hear him where ever he goes," Harry said, now floating out of the wardrobe after searching through it.

"That's a good idea. I think I'll try it. Thanks, Harry."

"Hey! There he goes! There he goes!" Harry shouted pointing at the fat greenish toad. "Quick, he's hopping away!" Harry followed the toad under the beds and to the closed door where Trevor cowered beneath Harry. Neville scooped up the amphibian and held him tightly.

The three boys went down to the common room to find a teacher who could conjure a bell for them when they ran into Hermione who was back with a rather large stack of books. They stopped her before she went up the stairs with the books and asked her to conjure up a bell with a string for them to put on Trevor.

She complied willingly and tied the conjured bell around Trevor's short neck. Neville thanked her and took Trevor upstairs to the dormitory, the bell jingling all the way up the stairs. Harry and Ron proceeded to help Hermione carry the books to her dormitory.

The rest of the day passed quickly. Ron and Harry talked with the other three boys in their dormitory while Hermione sat nearby scanning each of the books and writing things down on a roll of parchment.

The most exciting thing to happen that night was the commotion Trevor caused when he jumped out from underneath the chair in which Ron was sitting. The bell was ringing as he jumped, but the bell itself was nowhere to be seen.

"What's up with Trevor?" Dean asked. "He's…jingling."

"I think he swallowed the bell we put around his neck this afternoon," Ron commented.

"You had to ask didn't you, Dean?" Seamus asked with a slightly disgusted expression on his face and tone in his voice.

Harry, Ron, and Neville burst out laughing, and Hermione continued writing notes on something that was not homework.

******

You're not hanging this time. At least I don't think you are. If you are, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.

Same routine. Any questions please place them into a review and I'll get back to you. Please review anyway though. It would be appreciated very much.

Thanks,

KZerina


	4. Seances, Invisible Ropes, and De-Greasin...

Hello, sorry if you kind of got a bit annoyed with me and the whole "ghost Harry" thing. As my summary now says, Pseudomortis = fake death in Latin.

This part is completely humor. There is NOTHING serious in this one. Hope you like this part.

Please read and review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own anything associated with it.

Pseudomortis

Part 4- Séances, Invisible Ropes, and De-Greasing Charms

By KZerina

***

Over night, since he didn't have to sleep, Harry went to the first floor girls' bathroom and talked to Myrtle, as a last resort. He was very bored listening to Neville's snores and needed something better to do than stare blankly at the ceiling and listen to something that usually lulled him to sleep.

When morning finally came, Harry politely excused himself from Myrtle's company, after much convincing to let him leave, and headed up to Gryffindor Tower. When he arrived, Ron had already woken up, taken his shower, and gotten dressed. He was excited about _something_.

"Why are you so excited, Ron?" Harry asked.

"Don't we find out who made the team this morning?"

"Yeah, that's what McGonagall said, but with the strange circumstances involving me, I don't know if she has the letters finished or not," Harry explained.

"Oh." Ron seemed disappointed. "Let's go to breakfast now anyway."

"Leaving early is _not _going to make the owls come any earlier than they always do, Ron," Harry commented.

"I know, but I can hope, can't I?" Ron said, putting his wand in his robe's pocket and rushing out of the boys' dormitory.

Harry rolled his eyes and followed Ron out into the common room. Before the two boys departed, Harry turned himself invisible and traveled with Ron to the Great Hall for breakfast.

When they reached the Great Hall, there were very few students there. There was a small group of about five Hufflepuffs, a group of three Ravenclaws, and two Slytherin first years. Professors McGonagall, Snape, Sprout, and Flitwick, the heads of house, were sitting at the High Table. Professor McGonagall was writing furiously on a stack of many parchments in front of her. Snape was glaring at Ron. Professor Sprout was quietly eating her breakfast, and Professor Flitwick was sitting on a tall stack of books, munching away at his breakfast.

Ron sat down on the side of the Gryffindor table that was facing away from Snape so he wouldn't have to look into Snape's glaring eyes. Ron picked up some eggs and bacon from the platters in front of him. Harry reached down the table and grabbed two slices of toast and put them on Ron's plate.

Snape looked at the floating toast and eyed it suspiciously. He stood up and walked briskly over and stood directly behind Ron. "What do you think you are doing Mr. Weasley?" Snape inquired. "Magic without a wand is extremely unpredictable unless you know what you are doing, which I highly doubt you do."

Ron frowned and didn't answer. He merely stared fearfully at the wall across the table, but before Snape could say another word, there was a loud explosion near the Slytherin table. The two first years screamed and hid under the table. The explosion and the screams attracted Snape's attention, and he rushed over to aid his favorite house's students.

Ron breathed a sigh of relief as Snape hurried away. About ten minutes later, two certain Weasley twins walked in and sat down across from Ron.

"So what did you think?" Fred asked. "Did you like the show?"

"What show?" Ron asked back. "I didn't see any show."

"Yeah, he was too busy worrying about Snape," Harry commented.

"Oh, hello, Harry. Didn't see you there," George said, jokingly.

"It works," Harry said with an equally joking tone. "They can't see me."

"Well of course we can't see you. You're invisible."

"That's the point. You're not _supposed_ to see me."

Before either of the twins could answer, the roar that signaled the entrance of most of the school's students echoed through the halls and into the Great Hall. Large groups of students from every house flooded into the room and sat down at their respective tables. Most of the teachers, including the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, also came in and sat, although much more dignifiedly than the teenagers.

Hermione came in and sat next to Ron, right where Harry was sitting, and Harry quickly shot up and sat on the other side of Ron. Ron bit his lower lip and watched the now occupied space next to him nervously.

"Thanks, Hermione. I appreciate being sat in," Harry said sarcastically.

Ron let out a large sigh when he heard Harry from the opposite side of him. Hermione jumped, drew in a large breath of air, and grabbed Ron's sleeve. Ron looked down at her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"It's alright, Hermione," Harry reassured. "I moved as soon as you sat down."

Hermione let the air out heavily. "Don't do that, Harry. I nearly had a heart attack."

"Do what? You're the one who sat there." Harry looked down and saw Ron stiff as a frozen slab of plywood. "Oh, yeah, I forgot too much of my 'disembodied voice' freaks you out beyond belief. Sorry, I'll shut up now."

Ron relaxed, but his arm where Hermione still clung to his sleeve remained tense, almost as if she knew Harry's gaze had fallen upon her grip, Hermione removed her hand from its position on Ron's arm and blushed a light shade of pink. Harry bit his lip and chuckled to himself.

Soon, a rush of flapping wings entered the Hall. Letters dropped at every house table, but a majority of the letters released at the Gryffindor table. McGonagall had gotten the letters out on time, and now Harry's question of Ron's reaction to his Quidditch team letter.

A barn owl swooped over Ron's place and dropped a folded piece of parchment paper in front of his plate. Ron opened it so quickly that he almost ripped it in two. He skimmed over the formalities and read the sentence that told him whether he had made the team or not. Harry, Hermione, and the twins watched Ron apprehensively to see his reaction, but he simply folded the parchment and slipped it into his pocket in his school robes.

The four Gryffindors were relieved that was all he did, but it worried Harry about what he might do later. Harry dismissed the thought until later, and sat quietly through breakfast so he wouldn't scare Ron too badly.

After breakfast, Ron and Hermione headed back up to the dormitories to grab their books for class, Divination or, in Hermione's case, Arithmancy; Harry went with them even though he didn't need Unfogging the Future.

The trio headed to the tallest tower of Hogwarts. Ron climbed up, while Harry flew, invisible, and Hermione, climbed down to Arithmancy.

When Harry and Ron reached the Divination classroom, the familiar strong scented perfume and incense filled their nostrils, and the air was heavy from the constantly burning fire and enormous amount of heat that was trapped within the small room.

Ron flopped down in his usual seat, and the other students left a seat empty next to him for Harry, if he came. Harry went over to the empty chair and floated above it. Quickly, before he heard Trelawney's mystified voice, Harry grabbed one of Ron's quills and jotted "Séance?" on a corner of parchment. Ron looked around to see if anyone was watching, then read the note and nodded, understanding what Harry meant.

Receiving an affirmative, Harry wrote, in the same corner, "Be right back." Ron looked confused, but gave a small shrug and cocked his head slightly for a 'whatever' response.

With that, Harry went into the hall outside the Divination tower. Soon he heard the familiar maniacal laughter he was seeking. Harry smirked and followed his ears to where the psychotic poltergeist was creating mischief.

Harry floated up to Peeves. "What _are_ you doing?" Harry asked looking at the glue bottle Peeves was holding and the door he was floating near.

"I'm putting glue in Filch's lock, what's it look like, Runt?"

Harry raised his eyebrows and shrugged off the name. He was used to it from Dudley. "Oh, well, do you remember the Marauders?"

"Yeah, although those two Weasley boys come pretty close, they were best kids I ever knew. They always caused such a ruckus and laughed at me when I pulled pranks."

"Okay, what if I told you I was the son of Prongs?"

"You, Potty, are the son of one of the Marauders? Okay, you've got my attention."

"You know Professor Trelawney, right?" Peeves nodded and continued to put glue into the lock of Filch's office. "Well, Ron's trying to get her to hold a séance for me, and I thought maybe you'd like to join me in creating a little bit of…_humor_ for the Divination class."

Peeves grinned broadly and nodded furiously. He put a few final touches on the lock and followed Harry to the Divination room, hearing Filch's hoarse yelling echoing down the corridor after them. Both Peeves and Harry laughed.

As they approached the Divination tower, Harry explained his plan to the poltergeist. "We have to be quiet and invisible or they'll know what we're doing. Just cause mischief and don't make noise, and there's one condition, don't do _anything_ to Ron, okay?"

Peeves nodded and followed Harry up into the room, which had been discombobulated so there was a large circle of poufs in the center. Ron, Neville, Seamus, and Dean were sitting on the opposite side of the circle from Trelawney, while Parvati and Lavender sat on either side of the cuckoo professor.

"We must all be very quiet and still, or the spirit will not wish to be here with us," Professor Trelawney said in her highly mystified voice. The Gryffindor boys stifled laughs that came out as strange sneeze-like noises. Professor Trelawney glared at them, and they pursed their lips and bit them from the inside to keep themselves from laughing or even smiling.

Professor Trelawney lit the incense on a tray in the center of the circle, and its fragrant fumes rose softly into the air and permeated throughout the room, making the boys cough a little. The professor began making strange humming noises and invited the Gryffindors to join her. Parvati and Lavender immediately hummed along; everyone else hesitated while trying not to laugh.

"Harry Potter, come to us! Please visit before your spirit passes on! Come! Come!"

Harry bit his lip to keep from laughing. He flew over and pulled Trelawney's shawl over her head. Ron started to smile, but caught himself before the teacher could remove her head from beneath the woolen wrap and see him.

"It is working. The wind is indicating that the spirit will arrive any moment now!" Trelawney exclaimed. "Come, Mister Potter, come!"

Harry signaled Peeves to do a small trick silently. Peeves grinned viciously and zipped back and forth in front of the girls in the room. The breeze of his movement flipped up the robes and skirts of the girls. Harry and the boys looked away.

When Peeves returned to floating by Harry, Harry pointed at Trelawney. Harry and Peeves flew over to the chair in which Trelawney had been sitting. They each took a side of the chair and grabbed two legs. They lifted the chair and flew it across the room and dumped Trelawney onto an unused pouf.

Then, Peeves lost it. He flew to the back of the room and grabbed a couple of teapots. He threw them across the room where they shattered with a ceramic crash. The room filled with girls' shrieks and boys' screams. Harry hovered in front of Ron. A teacup came flying in his direction. Harry allowed the teacup to shatter against his chest instead of Ron's head.

"Thanks, Harry," Ron said relieved.

"No problem, and the tables are over there," Harry replied pointing at the tables with his thumb. Ron nodded and led the boys to one of the out-of-place desks where they hid.

"A very destructive spirit, isn't it?" Professor Trelawney asked, mortified. Peeves became visible and laughed as he threw a blue teacup down at the Divination professor. "PEEVES!" she yelled, "OUT!!!"

Peeves flew out, and Harry followed. "Peeves, you have to stay silent for it to work properly," scolded Harry.

"Oops."

"It worked and showed she was a fraud, but it won't always work out that way. Now, I have another idea. I've got an invisibility cloak. If you can find a rope, it will work."

"Actually, I know where there is an invisible rope. I'll get that."

"Great, meet me outside the dungeons."

Peeves nodded and flew off hastily. Harry floated down through many floors until he reached the dungeons where he met up with Peeves who had the invisible rope.

"Now," Harry said, "we'll stretch it across the hall and trip _only_ Slytherins or ex-Slytherins, and don't laugh this time. You'll ruin the whole thing. Remember, Slytherins _only_." Peeves nodded and handed Harry one end of the rope. Harry flew across the corridor and laid the rope on the ground.

A few seventh year Slytherin boys walked down the hall out of Potions. Harry and Peeves raised the rope, and all of them fell. They picked themselves up, looked around suspiciously, and reluctantly dismissed their simultaneous fall, continuing onto their next class.

Professor McGonagall walked down the hall towards the Potions classroom. She stepped right over the rope, as did the Chasers of Gryffindor coming from Potions. Then, they tripped another group of Slytherin seventh years, girls this time.

Then, Professor McGonagall came back down the hall with Professor Snape a pace or two behind her. Harry and Peeves let Professor McGonagall step over the invisible rope, but they pulled it tight and Snape tripped and fell flat on his face.

"Oh, dear, Severus. Are you alright?" McGonagall asked with a worried tone in her voice.

"I'm fine," Snape replied shortly and coldly. Snape picked himself up and dusted off his billowing black cloak. He motioned for Professor McGonagall to continue walking.

Harry and Peeves picked up the rope and, again, let Professor McGonagall walk over the rope and tripped Snape.

"Oh, Severus, you do seem to be a bit clumsy today, don't you?" Professor McGonagall said attempting to hide the amusement in her voice caused by the ludicrous sight of Professor Severus Snape, Head of Slytherin House, sprawled face down on the dungeon floor for the second time in less than a minute.

Both Harry and Peeves had their hands clapped tightly over their mouths in an attempt to keep themselves from bursting with laughter. Professor McGonagall helped Snape up, and the two instructors continued to the main castle.

Hermione and Ron came down the corridor chatting quietly. Harry watched as they crossed the rope, but behind his two best friends was the group he disliked the most, Draco Malfoy and his goon squad, Crabbe and Goyle.

He immediately pulled the rope taut, and Malfoy fell down, landing just behind Hermione's feet, causing her to drop her books on the cold dungeon floor. Crabbe fell at Ron's feet, and Goyle fell on top of Malfoy who yelled his head off to keep his heavy "security guard" from crushing his scrawny body.

Hermione crouched down and began picking up her spilled books. Harry floated over in front of Hermione and helped her pick them up. Hermione looked up with a slight glare to tell him he shouldn't be doing that because he might give himself away, but Harry ignored her glare and continued picking up the books.

"Oh, sorry, Hermione. I should have helped you pick those up," Ron apologized.

"It's alright," she replied, smiling.

"See ya, Dorko," Ron prodded. Malfoy fumed.

"And, you know, if you would watch where you're going, you might not trip over your own feet so much," Hermione smirked, making Malfoy fume more humorously. Hermione and Ron chuckled as they passed the twins and Lee walking out of Potions.

Ron eyed his brothers suspiciously as they passed with broad grins on their faces. Harry knew they had done something and was tempted to trip them as well, but decided against it when he spotted Snape returning to his class.

Harry returned to his place and pulled the rope tight. Snape's foot caught the rope and the Potions Master fell on his face again. Harry stifled a laugh, and he and Peeves moved the rope down the hall and waited for Snape to stand and continue walking down the dimly lit passage.

Snape dusted off his robes and looked around for what he tripped over before proceeding down the corridor once again. Snape rounded a corner and stumbled over the invisible rope for the fourth time. Snape was infuriated. He bolted up and took points off the first group of people he saw laughing at him.

"Ten points off each of you for laughing at me!" Snape bellowed at them. Only then did he realize it was a group of seven Slytherin fifth years, and he had just taken seventy points off his own house. He growled at himself and stormed into the dungeon classroom, the fifth years walking silently behind him.

Peeves hovered over to Harry and, now being able to talk, taunted him. "Looks like someone has a cru-ush!" the poltergeist teased.

"What _are _you talking about, Peeves?" Harry asked confused.

"That girl you picked the books up for. You've got a crush on her. Too bad you're dead. She's a looker."

"Is there a problem with helping my best friend whom I have been best friends with since first year?"

"Oh, well, if you're going to be _that way about it." Peeves stuck his tongue out at Harry. "Come get me if you decide to do more tricks. The subtle stuff is fun. I'm just sorry I don't have the patience to conduct any of those." Harry nodded, and Peeves cackled out of the dungeons with the rope._

Harry rolled his eyes and glided into the Potions room. He floated in the aisle to the left of Ron and Hermione's table. Snape was bellowing orders and pacing up and down the aisle, walking through Harry who cringed every time the greasy haired teacher passed through.

When Snape finished his ordering, Harry asked Hermione to make a copy of the list of ingredients and instructions which she did quickly and set it on the end of the table. While Snape wasn't looking, Harry took the paper over across the aisle to Neville. Neville looked at the parchment nervously before Harry reassured him.

"It's okay," Harry whispered. "It's only me. Just do as I say, and you'll do fine." Neville nodded slightly and looked at the paper with neatly written words. "Slice the Deadly Nightshade leaves very finely and simmer them in the boiling water. Just as it says." Neville complied. "Next put in _five _porcupine quills." Neville counted them, and Harry double-checked. Neville carefully put them in the cauldron. "Wait ten minutes."

Neville bounced his foot rapidly, his shoelaces clicking against his tennis shoe's outer coverings. Harry warned Neville that Snape might take points off for the "distracting noise." Neville promptly stopped tapping his foot.

Snape stopped and glared at Neville. His eye had turned an ugly purple and was almost swollen shut. Harry bit his lip to keep from laughing.

Snape gently patted the edge of his black eye and cringed. He bellowed for every student to stop making his or her potion and get out of his classroom. He glided ominously out of the room, his destination unknown. Harry guessed it was the Hospital Wing or his bedroom, _maybe _Dumbledore's office.

Ron and Hermione packed up their books and walked out of the classroom. Harry was barely able to keep up with Ron as he rushed out to the main castle.

On their way back to Gryffindor Tower, Professor Dumbledore's cheery voice echoed throughout the halls of Hogwarts. _Please listen, everyone. I have an announcement to make that many of you will like very much. All Potions classes for the rest of the day are cancelled. Thank you._

Cheers came from all sides that probably drowned out any Slytherins who happened to be making any sort of noise. Harry and the other Gryffindors chuckled at this, all except for Ron who, of course, was complaining.

"Why did we have to go? That's not fair!"

"It was for only half the class, Ron," Dean argued. "That's got to count for _something_."

"Yeah, but we still had to go," Ron replied stubbornly.

"Whatever."

Within a few minutes they reached the Tower and dropped their books onto a low table in the common room. Harry made himself visible and floated between two chairs. Hermione dropped her books in her dormitory and came back with a rather large book that she became engrossed in fairly quickly.

"Oh, Harry, you should have seen Trelawney while you were out of the Divination classroom," Ron laughed. He faked a high-pitched, squeaky voice that was supposed to resemble Trelawney's. "'I have been predicting his death for over two years now and it finally happened.' It was so funny!"

Harry chuckled and rolled his eyes. "I think Uncle Vernon should have used her to nail the mailbox shut when I was getting my letters." Dean and Seamus snorted laughs.

"What?" Ron asked, obviously not understanding Harry's analogy.

"She's a fruitcake," Harry explained as Dean and Seamus burst with laughter. "Christmas fruitcakes are often stereotyped to be hard and disgusting. Sometimes, they are said to be so hard that one could hammer a nail with it."

"Harry, you're starting to sound like Hermione."

"What about me?" Hermione asked looking up from the thick book she held in her hands.

"He's talking about 'Christmas fruitcakes' and getting all technical on us," Ron replied with a slightly scared tone in his voice.

Hermione looked at Harry with an inquisitive look. Harry began to repeat his story when Ron quickly yelled at him to stop. Harry grinned at Ron's hurriedness to shut him up. Hermione raised an eyebrow but returned to her silent occupation.

"So what was up with Snape's eye?" Seamus asked curiously.

"He came in cursing under his breath about 'damn stones,'" Ron replied.

"Actually," Harry began with a chuckle, "he didn't trip over the stones in the floor. He was tripped by an invisible rope that was stretched across the hallway."

"A rope?" Dean exclaimed. "Tripping over a rope couldn't have made his eye _that_ swollen. Neither could rocks for that matter."

"Maybe _once _wouldn't, but four would," Harry beamed.

"Four. Four times? That explains why his eye was so fat and purple," Seamus sniggered.

"You guys really shouldn't be laughing. It really isn't funny," Hermione scolded trying to hide her amusement and failing miserably.

"Oh, come on, Hermione. You know it's hilarious," Ron jibed to the bushy haired bookworm. "Just giggle, just a little." The rest of the boys, including Harry, joined Ron in trying to get Hermione to laugh.

Hermione made a variety of interesting faces while trying not to laugh, but all she was doing was delaying the inevitable and eventually gave in to the boys' coaxing and burst out laughing, realizing just how funny it was.

In all their joking and goofing around, the fifth years almost lost track of time and had to rush to Herbology with Hufflepuff where Professor Sprout has scheduled them to green house three where she was cultivating Venus's Flytraps for Professor Snape's Potions classes when they were mature enough to be used for a potion.

When feeding his carnivorous plant, Ron left his finger in the mouth too long after a mosquito had been put into its mouth, and the plant closed on his finger, where the short bristles scraped his finger slightly.

"Oh, would you like me to kiss it and make it better?" Hermione said with a strange joking tone and babyish voice.

Justin Finch-Fletchley and Ernie Macmillan, fifth year Hufflepuffs, looked at the two strangely, but continued to care for their Venus's Flytraps as Professor Sprout had instructed her class.

Soon the bell rang, and everyone rushed to their Towers to drop off books and flooded to the Great Hall for lunch. Ron's stomach had been growling through most of Herbology, and he had been complaining about it until his Venus's Flytrap bit his finger.

Ron sat down, Hermione next to him, and promptly filled his plate with generous helpings of the food down the center of the Gryffindor House table.

Harry watched Ron and was about to whisper "pig" in his ear when a slam echoed through the Great Hall followed by loud footsteps and growls. Harry sighted a seething Snape storming down the aisle between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables, but there was something abnormal about him, more abnormal than usual, that is. It was his hair. It no longer had its usual greasy shine that it always had before. It was (God forbid) _clean_, and not only was it clean, but it was also dark brown.

Wait a minute, brown? No. Harry thought he was seeing things. Snape's hair wasn't brown; it was black! Harry rubbed his eyes and looked again. The normally greasy Potions Professor's hair was definitely brown in color.

Snape took his place at the High Table and glared out at all the students, especially Gryffindor, as always. Harry went down and joined his friends in laughter. The twins crept down to where the trio was sitting.

"We put a two hour delayed degreasing charm on Snape's chair," George began to explain.

"So the first time he sat down two hours after we set it, it would give him a shower, so to speak," Fred finished.

All the Gryffindors around laughed hard until their sides had gained too many unbearable stitches.

"Snape's really having problems today," Ron commented. "He tripped four times over an invisible rope, gaining a huge black eye, and now, how horrid, he's _clean_."

The Great Hall continued to reverberate with fits of laughter from all tables until it became time to return to classes.

******

Next part will still have a lot of funny stuff, but there is actually sort of serious stuff in Part 5.

Thank you for reading this! I would appreciate it if you would review also.

Thank you to my reviewers! I'm so happy!

Alex: First, I'm female, just to point that out. I did say something about "Pseudomortis = fake-death" didn't I? You might be on to something…think about it. 

Angel: Technically, yes he should wonder about it, but in part 3, he's busy getting used to his body and in this part he's having too much fun to care. That and in part five I think I'm going to have him find out. They are happy because they can still see him and talk to him even though he's dead.

Gaidor: YES Harry will scare Malfoy out of his stupid little ferret mind (tee hee). Harry has fun haunting Malfoy. Part five I think…probably. No he is not going to spy on Voldemort, but Voldemort will be in it in a few chapters.

Pedro: Thank you for being so confident in me. Great self-esteem booster, but I don't think I'm that good. And FYI my brain does have an original brewing within, so if I ever stop thinking and get my butt moving so it will be down on paper, I'll get it up here.

Thanks again,

KZerina


	5. Explanations

Hello, everybody. Sorry, it took so long to get this up. School got in the way, and I had to write the majority of the part this after I got out.

I probably stuck too much in this than I should have and not really much "explanation," but that's how it is. Anyway, here goes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own anything associated with it.

Pseudomortis

Part 5 - Explanations

By KZerina

***

After classes Monday afternoon, Hermione went to the library, and Harry and Ron went back to the common room and talked with the other fifth years. Parvati and Lavender's girlish gossip squeaks began to annoy Harry after a while, so he decided it would be safe to scare Draco half to death in the Slytherin common room. He informed Ron of his choice, and Ron laughed and offered "happy haunting" as Harry traveled to the dungeons where he entered the Slytherin common room. 

Harry looked around and spied Crabbe and Goyle and some of the fifth years in front of the fireplace with the elaborate border, but Malfoy was no where to be seen. Harry was surprised to see his main Slytherin rival not with his personal bodyguards, even though it was Slytherin House and only Slytherins were supposed to be there.

Harry looked around again and, not seeing his target, decided to search the dormitories. He assumed the dormitories were set up the same as Gryffindor—boys on the left, girls on the right—and luckily, he assumed correctly. As he floated through each years' dormitory, Harry saw the first years from breakfast having a pillow fight with the other boys, a snoring third year, and a fourth year, who was scrawnier than Harry while at the Dursley's, vainly flexing non-existent muscles in front of a mirror. Harry choked down a laugh before moving on to the fifth year section.

When Harry entered the fifth year dorm, he saw Draco sitting at a desk on the far side of the room, brushing an eagle feather quill against his cheek in thought. Suddenly, Draco dipped the quill into a bottle of silver ink that looked almost like a unicorn's blood though Harry knew better that no store sold such ink.

Draco wrote quickly in small, neat, cursive script. Harry read what had been written: "Father, I believe I have killed Harry Potter. Although it was not the original intent, it became the outcome of my trick."

Malfoy's letter stopped there, and the boy with platinum blonde hair plastered to his head was mumbling to himself, "No, I shouldn't tell Father. He may be forced to tell the Dark Lord, and he may be killed, or worse, the Dark Lord may come after me because he wanted Potter for himself." Malfoy picked up the parchment from the desk and held it over a candle where it began smoldering in his hand. "I don't wish to be killed because I accidentally killed Potter." Malfoy left the letter to burn to ashes on the desk and swept the remnants onto the floor for the house-elves to clean up in the morning.

Harry followed Draco to the common room and left the Slytherin House. He was going up to Gryffindor Tower when he opted to stop in the library assuming Hermione was still there, researching the paper that had not been assigned.

When he arrived, Harry not only found Hermione there, but Ron also, with his arm on the back of Hermione's chair and his head about two centimeters from hers although they seemed to be analyzing the oversized book in front of them.

"Is this a private party, or can a friendly ghost join?" Harry asked jokingly, but cringed when Ron and Hermione's heads clunked together. "Sorry," Harry said as he became visible, sitting on the end of the table by Hermione.

"That's all right," replied Hermione, rubbing her forehead. "I've been researching you," she added as though this were a normal topic.

"You've been researching _me_? Why?"

"Well not exactly _you_, but you're condition." Harry raised and eyebrow at research of ghosthood, but allowed her to continue. "Harry, I don't think you're a ghost," Hermione finished simply.

Harry was about to reply but closed his mouth and thought about her last sentence. Not a ghost? Harry looked at Hermione, his expression eliciting an explanation.

"Well, for one, you're not cold, like Nick." Hermione waved one hand through Harry's shoulders.

"I'm glad I'm not a girl," Harry said with a chuckle.

"Fine, then, if you're going to be that way about it," Hermione replied sarcastically and, with a smile, waved her hand through Harry's abdomen instead.

"Don't go any lower, Hermione," Ron smirked. "That would be very rude, and I don't think he'd appreciate it all that much."

Harry looked over at Hermione. There was an unusually glint sparking in the depths of her cinnamon eyes. Harry immediately caught what she was going to do and stared sternly back at her.

"No, you are not _even_ going to do that!" Harry whispered stubbornly, moving away to the far side of the table from Hermione. "I may be dead, but I'm still a guy and that is not something girls are supposed to do without permission, which is _not_ something you have, Miss Granger!"

Harry looked over at Ron who looked like he was going to bust open on the floor at any moment just because he was laughing so hard. "Ron, that's not funny!" Harry glanced down at Hermione's book lying open on the table. It seemed strange that he had seen it through his knee, but nonetheless, Harry picked up the book and dropped it on Ron's foot from two meters (just over eight feet) in the air.

Ron screamed in pain as the five centimeter (two inch) thick leather-bound book landed on his foot. Ron began hopping up and down on one foot before falling down in his chair and nursing his injured foot after Madam Pince's grating hush was heard over Ron's groaning.

"Oh, Ron, stop being such a baby. And you get down here so I can finish explaining!" Hermione ordered pointing a finger up at Harry.

"Are you going to keep poking me?" Harry asked suspiciously.

"No, I won't poke you. Now get down here."

Harry looked at Hermione for a brief moment before floating slowly down to the table again. He glanced at Hermione and saw that the glimmer was gone, and she was waiting for Ron to stop complaining and continued.

"Now where was I? Oh, right, you're not cold, and you're gaining different hues."

Harry pulled his shirt away from his translucent body and saw it had a reddish tint. "Hey, I'm Technicolor!"

"You're what?" Ron asked, confused while Hermione chuckled softly in the background.

"Technicolor. It's a Muggle thing. You wouldn't understand," Harry explained before turning to Hermione. "Okay, so it sounds like you're describing a poltergeist, and I _have _been playing jokes with a poltergeist."

"That's just the Marauder blood in you."

"Blood? What blood? I don't have any blood."

"Fine. It's in your genes," Hermione replied with a sly grin spread across her face and her fingers waving slightly towards his knees.

Harry looked down at his jeans and stuck his tongue out at Hermione for such a terrible pun. Hermione smirked and raised her eyebrows.

"We're having a bad influence on her," Ron said looking up at Harry.

"Well, we'll have been best friends four years on Sunday." Ron nodded and smiled.

"Can we get back to the original subject?" Hermione asked with an annoyed tone planted within her voice, gaining both boys' attention. "Thank you. No, you're not a poltergeist either."

"If I'm not a ghost, and I'm not a poltergeist, then what am I?"

"I know! A vampire!"

Harry bared his teeth and hissed as he made for a vampire's bite on Hermione's neck. Hermione waved her hand through Harry's head, and Harry scrunched up his nose and snorted at her.

"Or maybe he's a zombie!" Ron continued.

Now, Harry put his arms stiffly in front of him, letting his hands hang limp. He walked through the table staring straight ahead with a glassy look to his eyes. Ron was quick to tell him how 'freaky' it looked.

"It's obvious a sense of humor is genetic in both of you."

Harry chuckled, and Ron asked about the word 'genetic,' which was answered with the usual 'he wouldn't understand' and an added 'stop asking about Muggle things.'

"Well if I don't understand what a Muggle thing is, I'm going to ask!"

"Why?" Hermione questioned arching an eyebrow skeptically. "You don't ask about wizarding things you don't understand."

Ron shot a sharp glare to his right at his beaming friend to whom his expression softened when he turned to face her. He snorted and leaned his cheek on his fist and propped his elbow on the table.

"Okay, getting back to the subject, what am I?"

"I found some things, potions and spells, that could fit your condition, but most of them had side effects that couldn't be predicted as they affect all people differently."

"That would mean I'm not dead," Harry concluded. "And if it was one of those, then there would be teachers that know. Probably Dumbledore and McGonagall. She didn't seem too unnerved by my ghostly presence."

"Snape doesn't know, or he wouldn't have accused me of using wandless magic on the floating toast."

Hermione glared at Harry. "What? It's not like I wouldn't have gotten him out of it if something hadn't exploded by the Slytherins. Too bad Malfoy wasn't there. I gladly would have thrown him across the room, and speaking of Malfoy," said Harry, reminding himself of the letter he'd seen Malfoy burn, "he's the one who pushed us into the lake."

"Shouldn't we tell someone?" Hermione inquired.

"Nah, besides, I have a couple of tricks up my ghostly sleeve," Harry smirked with a mischievous glimmer shining in his bright green eyes.

******

After Ron and Hermione went to dinner, Harry floated through the corridors, listening for the demented hysterics that Peeves, the Hogwarts School poltergeist, caused in every path he traveled. Then, there it was, a cackling suit of armor shaking rusty appendages to and fro and singing absurd and inappropriate songs. Harry had found Peeves. He had another practical joke in mind and needed the help of the petulant poltergeist.

"Hey, Peeves," Harry said. "I need your help with something, a practical joke."

"Hee, hee! Yes! Of course! What is it?" Peeves asked deviously.

"Are there any ghosts that might be willing to help us?"

"Uh…yeah, there's this one who every once in a while will, especially for a good cause."

"Great, go get him. I'll wait here."

Peeves nodded and flew off in search of the troublemaking ghost. About five minutes later, Peeves returned with a ghost who had long hair and a dress, not at all what Harry had expected. He was expecting a gruff old man, not a slender young woman.

"Harry, this is Julie. She's my occasional practical joking partner. I do believe she'll be willing to help."

"Pleasure to meet you, and thanks," Harry said, shaking Julie's hand. "I have a job for each of you. Peeves, you're sound effects. Julie, you get to make 'Subject A' cold, as neither of us can.

"Subject A is a Muggle-born-hating Slytherin. He has platinum blonde hair that is always plastered down to his head. His name is Draco Malfoy, and from here on out, he should be called Subject A so that anyone hearing our conversation won't know what we are talking about."

Both transparent spooks nodded, and Harry continued. "Now Julie, would you find a place to set up? Preferably, a pair of perpendicular halls, like a 'T'; Peeves, you see if you can get one of Snape's cloaks—I'm assuming they are all black—and a pair of pickled ape's hands." Julie had a confused look on her face. "Just trust me. I'll talk to Ron; we're going to need his help, too."

Julie shrugged, and Peeves flew in hyperactive circles of excitement before zipping off to the dungeons to find Snape's wardrobe and potions ingredient stash. Julie rolled her eyes and shook her head before following more slowly in search of the set up area.

Harry headed to the Great Hall where he found Ron and Hermione sitting with the Weasley twins and laughing at them. Snape came storming in, mumbling about a missing cloak and staring pointedly at Fred and George who looked back with genuine innocence to which Snape left them alone, cursing something else that Harry hadn't heard.

"I wonder what that was all about," Harry said mischievously to Ron and Hermione.

"What did you do?" Hermione accused.

"_I_ didn't do anything. Yes, it was my idea, but I didn't actually _do_ anything," Harry defended.

"Ya know, I think we're starting to rub off on him," George said.

"Nah, it's in my genes," Harry replied.

Ron looked nervously towards Harry's voice and bit his lower lip. His eyes moved up and down and he looked away at his brothers. It took a moment for Harry to realize what Ron was doing.

"NOT THOSE JEANS!!" both Harry and Hermione cried at the same time.

Hermione was hiding her face with her hands although her blush showed on her visible ears. Harry was more than happy to have been invisible right then or he would have been seen blushing that hard as well.

"It's a Muggle science, Ron," Hermione explained her face still hidden in her hands. "That was a pun in the library."

Ron blinked at her and continued stuffing his face with food.

"So what's your scheme?" Hermione asked quickly, trying to change the subject.

"That's why I'm here, and you'll find out soon enough. Ron, I need your help to perform this."

Ron nodded. "Sure, what have I got to do?"

"Get Malfoy to chase you to the designated area that I don't know where it is yet, but as soon as I find out, I'll tell you."

"Piece of cake."

"Good, see you in a bit."

With that, Harry flew out of the Great Hall and met up with Julie who gave him the prank site, which happened to be perfect for what he had planned for his Slytherin rival. Harry went back and informed Ron of the trick's location in the dungeon halls.

Leaning on a handrail, Ron waited outside the hall leading to the dungeons. Harry left him there alone to fend against Malfoy and lead him down the dungeon passages to the prank site.

Harry held the ape's hands in his, and Peeves draped Snape's cloak over Harry's head and all three specters turned invisible and waited around the corner from where Ron would be coming, and soon enough, there were frantic footsteps and angry yelling echoing through the halls as Ron and Draco approached.

As soon as Ron rounded the corner, Harry floated out in front of Draco. Julie floated into Draco, and Peeves began making Dementor breath noises. Draco stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes wide and mouth contorted in sheer terror. His lips quivered and his knees were shaking and bumping into one another. He let out a shriek of terror like that of a banshee and fled down the hall in the direction from which he'd come.

When Draco was out of earshot, the three phantoms burst out laughing. Harry looked towards Ron who was crouched on the floor and pressing himself against the stone wall with wide eyes and a huge frown.

Harry brushed the hood back with the ape's hands, and Ron began slowly inching backwards away from the menacing cloaked figure, clutching his head with his hands.

"Here, Ron, hold these," Harry said, pushing the pickled hands into Ron who cautiously took them.

Harry became visible and dropped Snape's billowy cloak to the floor. Ron relaxed and stood up, still holding the hands. Then he realized what he was doing and dropped them to the ground with a noise of disgust.

Peeves, laughing hysterically, had already gathered up the cloak then he picked up the ape's hands and took them back where he found them.

Chuckling, Julie floated over to the boys and said, "Anytime you need the help of a ghost, and you're playing a prank on a Muggle-born-hating Slytherin, count me in." Harry and Ron sent confused looks to her. "I was a Muggle-born Gryffindor."

Harry grinned. "Nothing more need be said. Thanks!"

"My pleasure," Julie grinned. "Happy haunting." With that, she left.

Harry chuckled. "Come on, Ron. The news should be getting out soon; we don't want to miss the reactions."

Ron grinned, and they headed back to Gryffindor Tower.

"Ron, Malfoy seemed furious. What did you do?"

"I…uh…insulted his mum…."

"Good idea. Never insult a guy's mum, especially Malfoy's. Remember what he did last year? He almost hit me with a curse, and then Crouch turned him into a ferret, one of the few things good about that guy." Ron nodded in agreement.

_Would Mr. Ronald Weasley please report to Professor McGonagall's office. Thank you._

"I didn't do anything!" said Ron suddenly after the announcement.

"Just go, you might not be in trouble," Harry assured. "Maybe she's talking to you about school or something."

Harry became invisible, and Ron swallowed hard before entering his House head's office. "Yes, Professor?"

"Mr. Malfoy says he saw a Dementor in the dungeons and that you were there as well. Is this true?"

"Well, he was chasing me down the corridor in the dungeons, then I heard him scream, actually more like shriek." This statement earned him a glare from Malfoy that was ignored by both Ron and Professor McGonagall. "I turned around and he was running in the opposite direction. All I saw was Peeves and a couple of ghosts. I knew Peeves was weird, but I didn't think he was scary."

"Thank you, Mr. Weasley. You are dismissed."

As Ron and Harry left, they heard McGonagall reprimanding Malfoy for his inappropriateness and serious lack of judgment, thinking that a joke like that would be funny and then giving him detention. They headed back to the common room, laughing the whole way.

******

The week passed peacefully through Tuesday and Wednesday until Ron's detention on Wednesday night. Harry had been staying with Ron through his detentions, and that night was to be no different.

Harry followed Ron to the first floor bathroom where they met Mr. Filch and his irritating feline, Mrs. Norris. Filch handed Ron a bucket with water and a soapy sponge. Ron went into the bathroom and began washing the sinks. Harry perched himself upon the nearest stall divider and watched Ron for a moment. Then, for some odd reason, Harry looked down into the stall and was surprised at what he saw. The toilet seat was missing.

"Uh, Ron? You'd better come look at this," Harry said with a slightly amused tone.

Ron turned around the barrier and looked at the barren toilet. He looked like he nearly choked on something. He'd figured out as well that his own brothers, Fred and George, had taken the toilet seat and probably had it hidden in their dorm room to send home later.

"Better get Filch."

Ron nodded and burst through the halls to Filch's office. Ron returned with a livid Filch who was practically spouting fire, thankfully not at Ron. He was cursing more than Harry thought any of the faculty would. Harry could hear him muttering about how he was going to strangle those troublemakers next time he could get his hands on them.

He took one look at the empty toilet and wheeled around to point his furious stare at Ron who instinctively backed away.

"Get out of here," he said gruffly. "And tell those brothers of yours to keep their jokes to themselves and give me back that toilet seat!" he finished, all but screaming loud enough so all of Gryffindor Tower on the other side of the castle could hear him.

Ron scuttled out of the bathroom so fast that he nearly fell on his face after slipping in a puddle of water near the door. Harry drifted slowly after his red-haired best friend and finally caught up to Ron who was panting like he'd just run ten kilometers in the past five minutes.

"Geez, Ron, you'd think you were being chased by Fluffy or something," said Harry, puzzled. "Filch wasn't exploding at you; he was exploding at your brothers."

"I know, but he wasn't in your face," Ron replied with a frightened demeanor. "Filch is horrifying when he's hot under the collar!"

"Apparently."

They started down the hall again. Then Ron stopped and spied around the corner. Harry looked over Ron's head and there was Malfoy without his goon squad marking his every move. An idea struck Harry like a tidal wave.

"Ron, wait here," whispered Harry. "I'll be right back."

Harry glided down the corridor towards the blonde Slytherin boy. Harry smirked broadly, although no one could see it, and floated in front of Malfoy.

"So," Harry said in the stately manner that Draco usually used when he talked to Ron. "You were the murderer, hm?"

Obvious fear flooded Draco's stormy gray eyes as he looked around frantically for the source of Harry's disembodied voice. Malfoy's legs were trembling so much that his knees were knocking together. Harry was filled with a strange pride that encouraged him to continue.

"You may have killed me, but I'm not going to tell anyone. No. I resolved to haunt you. Haunt you, scare you witless, whatever you want to call it."

By now, Malfoy had pinned himself against the wall. His knees were shaking more, and his lower lip quivered, his face white as a sheet and showing all his fear at once.

"Just remember. I have my eyes on you," Harry threatened. "Now get back to your common room before I find something to drop on your head, or maybe I should just call Filch. I heard he's in a _terrible_ mood this evening."

Malfoy skittered out of site. Harry laughed inwardly and went back to Ron who was holding his sides choking on laughter. Harry merely rolled his eyes and dragged Ron by the collar of his robes up to the dorms for the night.

******

The heir of Prongs didn't strike again until Saturday evening at dinner.

Draco had been looking around restlessly since Wednesday night, and it seemed that he had finally gotten his guts up enough to come over to the Gryffindor table to insult Ron's and Hermione's financial or blood status, as the case may be. He swaggered along the wall with his personal bodyguards flanking him. He slowly came to a halt in front of Ron and Hermione who both look him up and down before rolling their eyes disgustedly.

"So Weasel, Mudblood, looks like Potty gave an empty threat, if it was him at all," Draco sneered.

Ron and Hermione exchanged glances, knowing very well that Harry was planning on doing _something_; he just wasn't sure what it was yet. Now Harry decided he would do something. Shoelaces, that was it, but it wasn't enough.

_I'll start with shoelaces and then think about the rest, _Harry thought.

He floated to the floor and untied Crabbe and Goyle's shoes and tied the laces together, with the other shoe in the pair and each other's shoes. He did the same with Draco's without tying them to Crabbe or Goyle's.

Hermione had seen the laces moving and was hiding her laugh well by holding Ron back since Malfoy has continued insulting them while Harry worked.

Next, Harry thought of something terribly embarrassing to do to Malfoy only. Hermione continued holding her giggling tongue while she watched Harry carry out his practical joke.

He carefully and quietly unbuckled Malfoy's belt clasp, unzipped his pants, and unbuttoned them such that they would still stay closed while he stood still, but when he moved, the pants would fall to his ankles. Cleverly, Hermione responded to one of his passes in such a way that he couldn't respond, so he stomped away, only to find himself flat on the floor with his trousers around his ankles and his bikini style underpants, colored red with gold smiley faces, showing. Crabbe and Goyle made a move to help him up but fell to their faces as well.

The whole Hall began to laugh hilariously, including the Slytherins. It seemed that even Professor Snape was tempted to laugh at his House member. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in such a way that they were a tell-tale to his profuse inward laughter, and Professor McGonagall's shoulders were shaking and her lips were smiling in attempts not to laugh.

Gaining control of his bouts of laughter, Harry went down and whispered into Malfoy's ear, "A wise person would never mess with a Marauder, and if this person was really wise, he wouldn't mess with a Marauder's son either."

"POTTER!"

The majority of the Hall paused long enough to give Malfoy a confused look, but then began laughing harder than before. There didn't seem to be a dry eye in the whole school except for Harry's victims and Snape. Malfoy was redder than a Weasley's hair and his smiley face underwear combined as he stomped out of the Great Hall with crudely tied shoes and bumbling goons.

"Great one, Harry!" Fred and George shouted over the din of laughter.

"Well, I thought so," Harry responded appearing between Ron and Hermione, startling them both into more fits of laughter.

Eventually, the Hall settled down to a murmur and everyone finished their dinner, and as they left, Malfoy was the topic of all conversations they heard.

******

Mesozoic Flower- So you liked clean Snape, did you? LOL. I'm glad you miss me, but spoilers to the sequel are not a suggestion. And quit telling me you suck because you don't!

Songbird21- I've gotten a whole bunch of things about everyone's reactions. Hopefully I can get better reactions written for the end.

Thanks for reviewing!

So, what did you think? Again this one wasn't too serious, but it did give some information for you. Please review!

Thanks,

KZerina


	6. Hogsmeade

I'm really really really really really really sorry! I don't have a good excuse for the lateness of this one. I just wasn't writing it, which is a bad excuse.

As you have hopefully read the other parts, this is not going to be nearly as funny, since it is the 'major battle scene' that isn't really much of a battle. Here and there towards the beginning, there are a few funny things, but other than that, not much. I apologize for the lack of humor, but this part isn't right for much humor, especially with it being Halloween and all…. 

I promise the humor will be back in Part 7! So don't have a cow.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own anything associated with it.

Pseudomortis

Part 6 - Hogsmeade

By KZerina

***

It was very early Sunday morning. Harry could hardly believe he'd been a ghost for an entire week, and now it was Halloween. Hogwarts had a great feast on Halloween that usually made his day much better than it had been throughout the beginning of the day when he thought about—his parents. Harry realized that he appeared on a ghost a week before his parents' deathday. He'd never really thought about it before.

Harry breathed a low, miserable sigh that made Ron shift in his sleep. Harry glanced over at Ron before lying on his back and staring at the scarlet canopy above his bed. At that point, he wished ghosts slept, but there was nothing he could do about it.

He could hardly stop thinking about his parents and that he might never see them. He was a ghost; they weren't, and no matter how hard he tried, Harry couldn't take his mind off his parents. As the sun rose, he continued to stare at the canopy, his parents never leaving his thoughts.

"Happy Halloween, Harry," came Ron's voice from beside him.

Harry had been so wrapped up in his lingering thoughts, that he hadn't even noticed his best friend wake up and move to sit on his, Harry's, bed. Ron was smiling cheerfully, but Harry looked up at him sternly and rolled on his side. Ron's smile faded when Harry snorted his disapproval of his smiling face.

"Harry, you okay?" Ron asked cautiously.

Harry didn't answer. In his opinion, Ron should know by looking at him or a calendar.

"We're going to Hogsmeade," Ron pressed. "Aren't you coming?"

"Yeah," Harry replied icily.

The Headmaster had declared that since the Halloween holiday fell on a Sunday, the day in Hogsmeade would be on Halloween rather than the Saturday prior.

"I'm going to get ready," Ron said quietly, clearly disappointed at Harry's lack of willingness to talk. He stood up and went to the bathroom to shower and change.

Harry breathed another depressed sigh and rolled onto his stomach. He stared intently at a diminutive indentation in one of the four posts of his bed, but soon it went out of focus as he began to stare into space with thoughts of his parents to guide him.

He was jolted out of concentration by a knock at the door. Neville's snoring skipped a beat as he woke up. Seamus groaned and rolled over. Dean looked strangely at both, but made no move of answer the rap, leaving Harry to do the job.

He lethargically floated to the door and through it, earning a high-pitched squeak from the visitor.

"Oh, sorry, Hermione," Harry said with no more enthusiasm than was necessary.

"Well, you're bright and cheerful this morning aren't you?" Hermione said sarcastically which gained no more than a snort from Harry. "Where's Ron?"

"Getting ready, I think." Harry looked over his shoulder. "Just a second, I'll be right back."

Without even looking to see Hermione's reaction, Harry floated back through the door. "It's Hermione. Could you tell Ron we'll be waiting for him?"

"Sure," Dean answered for all the boys, as the other two were still half asleep.

"Thanks."

Harry went back to Hermione. "They're going to tell Ron were waiting for him."

Then, Harry crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall next to Hermione.

"You _are_ coming to Hogsmeade with us, aren't you?"

Harry nodded, his eyes staring blankly at the floor, surprised he had even heard her ask the question.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione pleaded, "I _hate_ seeing you like this!"

Harry looked at Hermione with his peripheral vision, and, as she continued, turned his head to her with a softened gaze. Hermione met his gaze and faltered in mid-sentence.

A tinge of pink appeared on her cheeks, and she looked away quickly. "Sorry, I was rambling like a fool, again."

"No," Harry contradicted quickly. "You were just showing you care about more than just the fun and games of Halloween, and it-"

Harry was cut off by the door opening and Ron bounding out.

"I'm ready, let's go."

Harry and Hermione rolled their eyes and stood up straight.

As the trio descended the spiral staircase, Ron decided to ask one of the stupidest questions he had ever asked in his life.

"What's wrong with you today, Harry?"

Harry stopped in his tracks.

"Ron!" Hermione yelled in a tone that easily pointed out his daftness.

After getting over the shock of his best friend asking that question, Harry glared at Ron with such and intense stare that, if looks could kill, Ron would be a pile of bright red and flesh-colored goo flowing down the stairs. Ron shrank back to the wall.

"Come on, Harry," Hermione ordered, breaking Harry's glare instantaneously. "If he doesn't know by now, then we'll just leave him behind to figure it for himself."

She pushed past Ron and stomped down the stairs. She considerately waited for Harry at the bottom, and they set off for the Great Hall for breakfast—Harry invisible, of course.

Hermione selected a set of three seats near the Weasley twins and their best friend and Quidditch commentator, Lee Jordan. Hermione sat down, and Harry floated in next to her, leaving the third seat for their missing companion.

"What happened to our poor, dear, ickle bruder?" Fred asked, poking fun at the absent Ron.

"He was being really stupid," Hermione put simply.

"That's nothing new," said George.

"Yeah, he's always like that," Fred added.

"What did he do?" asked Lee sanely.

"He kept wishing Harry a 'Happy Halloween,'" Hermione informed them, "and couldn't figure out why Harry kept growling at him."

"Ooh…" Lee groaned.

"That _was_ stupid," Fred commented.

"Stupider than usual," stated George.

"Yeah," Hermione remarked, helping herself to some eggs, "and it's a good thing Harry can't do magic or Ron would have been hexed and left behind instead of just left behind."

Harry snorted a laugh that he quickly stifled. Hermione looked up at him and elbowed through him, smirking compassionately, knowing very well that he didn't usually smile until the holiday feast.

"You laughed."

"So?"

"You just don't _laugh_ on Halloween," Hermione smirked.

"So?"

"And you're a grump again."

"So?"

"You sound like a broken record."

"S-"

This time, Harry was cut off by frantic footsteps and loud screaming from his redheaded friend.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he screamed. "Where is he?"

"Where do you think he is?" Hermione questioned.

Ron examined the two spaces next to Hermione and left Harry's seat alone putting one space between himself and Hermione.

"Thank you for not sitting in me," Harry said, flatly.

"Why didn't you talk before?"

"Too much of my disembodied voice freaks you out."

"I'm getting used to it," Ron explained. "Sorry, about this morning. I don't know what I was thinking."

"That's the problem," Hermione teased. "You weren't thinking."

Ron glared at Hermione and swung at her through Harry. He thought it was rude to do such, but didn't feel like complaining about it at the time.

"Would you stop?" Harry directed. "Apology accepted, Ron."

"Really?" Ron said, abruptly ending the quarrel between him and Hermione.

"Yeah," Harry replied, reassuringly with a small invisible smile.

Ron grinned up where Harry was and sighed, relieved.

Hermione's eyes smiled even though her lips did not. Then she went back to eating her eggs and toast, quietly and slowly as she always did while Ron turned to his food and gulped down several servings in the time it took Hermione to eat one.

Harry waited patiently for his best friends to finish eating, and finally, after what seemed like five or six helpings, Ron was no longer able to stuff his mouth as he had stuffed his stomach instead.

Ron stood up and offered Hermione a hand to get up, and the three traveled the halls, through tapestry and secret passage, back to Gryffindor Tower. As soon as they entered the portrait hole, Harry became visible, and they lounged in the common room for a little while.

During that time, Nearly Headless Nick floated into the common room, brooding over his again-denied request to join the Headless Hunt.

"Happy Deathday, Nick!" Hermione greeted in an attempt to cheer up the irritable ghost, only making Harry more depressed, though he kept it masked with a smile for Nick.

"Hardly," he said glumly, "but it is considerate of you to say so. Thank you." Nick ripped up the letter from the Headless Hunt Committee, and it disappeared in a puff of pearly white smoke.

Harry leaned back in the chair and put his translucent tennis shoes on the coffee table in front of him. Nick looked him up and down a few times, Harry watching his gaze.

"What's eating you, Harry?" he inquired. "You're a little more distant than you usually are. Well there's the obvious point of Halloween, but you're usually not _this_ bad."

Harry tried his hardest not to glare at Nick, succeeding. He sighed and looked around at Nick. "I'd rather not talk about it," he replied, tonelessly as he slouched farther into the spongy cushion of the chair.

Ron and Hermione exchanged concerned glances, and Nick just watched him, sink, not saying a word. Harry sighed and turned bright jade irises to his feet, once again brooding over the thoughts that had hung over him the previous night.

"Well, good day to you then," Nick said, clearly uncomfortable. Ron and Hermione whispered a simple ''Bye', and Nick floated out of the room.

The whole common room was shrouded with an awkward silence. The only sound heard was the soft crackling of the fire beside them. Ron shifted anxiously, and Hermione's gaze remained glued on Harry as he sulked to his heart's content.

The silent room was silent no longer as the approach of many excited Gryffindors was sounded with shouts, laughs, and heavy footfalls. Harry jerked out of his nightmarish reverie and glared swords at the back of the portrait, then, realizing how moody he'd become, sighed and reprimanded himself. He straightened his posture and covered his misery so it looked like his normal Halloween glumness.

"Maybe, you should go get ready to go to Hogsmeade," Harry suggested, trying to sound offhand, though he knew he'd failed miserably. "They'll be letting students out of the castle soon."

It was obvious by the looks his best friends gave him that they knew he was not in the best of moods but had gained control of himself and wasn't going to drop anyone on his or her butt if they said something he didn't like.

Ron shot a look at Hermione who nodded, and Ron went upstairs to the dormitory to gather a few things. Harry watched his as he ascended the spiral staircase just in front of the crowd of Gryffindor third through seventh years excited to go to Hogsmeade.

"Harry," Hermione said gently. Harry turned his head to face her. "Nick's right. You're more distant than you usually are on Halloween."

"On the other Halloweens, I actually had a chance to see my parents again. Now, I'm a ghost, and they're not, meaning I'll never see them."

"But, Harry," declared Hermione, "I've told you several times over, you're—not—dead!"

Harry was a taken aback by Hermione's sudden outburst. He couldn't do anything but blink for a good thirty seconds or more before he even picked up on what she had said. When he did, he shook his head and looked away from Hermione.

"Hermione," he breathed, "for once I'm going to say, I honestly think you don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, your hair is longer."

"How can you tell? It always looks longer than it is."

Hermione faltered. "You're taller, too."

"Two things: one, I'm sitting down; you can't tell, and two, you're with me all the time anyway."

"I have to look up higher to look you in the face."

"Are you sure I wasn't floating?"

"You're going to shoot down everything I say, aren't you?"

"Probably."

"Are you going to debate all day, or are we going to Hogsmeade?" Ron asked jokingly.

Harry hadn't noticed him come back, and, apparently, neither had Hermione since she had jerked her head towards him in shock.

"You can go get your stuff. The mob's made its way up the stairs and out of the way."

Hermione nodded. "I'll be right back, and _you_," she said pointedly at Harry, "don't kill anything before I get back."

"So I can kill something when you get back?"

"You made a joke!" exclaimed Hermione.

"I guess you could call it that if you want to," Harry replied in his deadpan tone.

"And you're still a grump."

"You expect otherwise?"

Hermione looked away, disappointment clouding her usually happy expression, and trudged up the stairs to gather her things.

Harry felt bad and realized he was not only feeling depressed himself, but he was transmitting those feelings to Hermione through the way he was acting. She was only trying to make his day a little better, and he just made hers worse. He gave himself a mental slap and told himself to shape up. She may be correct in saying he wasn't dead, but he doubted it, because why would anyone do that?

Harry shook his head and looked up only to be startled by looking straight into Hermione's cinnamon-toned eyes. He jerked back into the chair with wide eyes and clenched jaw.

"Well, are you coming, or are you just going to stare at nothing all day?" Hermione asked somewhat cheerfully, but with an annoyed undertone.

Harry nodded and almost swore Ron was sniggering, but when he looked, Ron just stood there as though he had been just standing there the whole time. Harry sighed and stood up when Hermione had gotten out of the way. He turned invisible and followed his best friends out of the common room and to Hogsmeade.

None of them said a single word the whole way to the Scottish town near Hogwarts, but when they reached the main road of Hogsmeade, Ron dashed right to Zonko's yelling something about Dungbombs, leaving Harry and Hermione far behind. They decided they would be more civilized and walk after Ron, as they knew he would be in the joke shop.

Harry, still disappointed in himself, resolved to take this chance to apologize to Hermione for being such a prat back at Gryffindor Tower.

"Hey, Hermione?" Harry said, nervously.

"Hm?" Hermione mumbled, not taking her eyes from the path she was walking.

"I was just—uh—going to apologize for being a prat," he managed. "I mean, I didn't mean to make you—um—upset."

"It's alright, Harry," she rejoined, quickly. "I know you didn't mean to, because you _wouldn't_ do it on purpose. It's just the way you are."

"You were just trying to help, and I—I just pushed it away."

"No, Harry, it's just—just that—"

She stopped and never finished her sentence. Harry was curious to know what she wanted to say, but didn't ask since he didn't want to force her to say it if she didn't want to. He was sure she had her reasons for not saying it. Finally, they reached Zonko's and caught Ron before he ran amok throughout the shop buying some of everything. Luckily they were able to lead him out of the store before it became that serious.

The next stop was Honeydukes, Ron and Hermione got sacks of sweets while Harry waited patiently, longing to get some for himself but knowing he could never eat them. When the purchases had been made, the trio headed out the door and over to the Three Broomsticks where many students had gathered for butterbeers and long chats with friends. Ron and Hermione both ordered butterbeers and the three talked about nothing for a while.

Harry had been hoping to have a somewhat normal visit to Hogsmeade, unlike his third or fourth years, sneaking to the village or hiding from one person or another. Now he was with his friends and, sure, he was a ghost, but he was having a pretty good time, despite his horrible night.

His hopes were broken however when screams filled the streets, and a man burst through the door, a dark cloak covering his face, wand out and pointing it at the people in the room. Three more came filing in after the first, also with wands out and at the ready.

"Death Eaters," Harry murmured just loud enough for Ron and Hermione to hear him. They looked, wide eyed and dropped jawed, where Harry was and back at the intruders. Both sat frozen in their seats, unable to move.

Harry heard the leader mumble something to the others. Two walked in their direction and grabbed Ron and Hermione, grasping their hands behind their backs.

"Don't fight them," Harry whispered to each in turn. "I don't want them to use the Cruciatus or Imperious Curses on you. I'm going to see what's happening out there."

Harry flew out of the inn and onto the roof of the building across the street where he had a pretty good vantage point on the village. He saw Ron and Hermione, wrists bound in glowing, golden ropes, being forced out at wand point. He knew they were a lure for him and that they would be killed when Voldemort was done with them. He spied down the street and saw Voldemort with his vivid red eyes overseeing the attack on Hogsmeade. He also saw a pair of Death Eaters leading Snape in the same direction as Ron and Hermione.

Harry glided to the roof closest to Voldemort and watched as the three captives were brought before Voldemort, seemingly for judgment.

"His best friends, how quaint," he sneered, coolly, "and the traitor." Voldemort raised his wand to Snape's face. "Potter won't care if I rid the world of some slimy filth."

"The only slimy filth here is you and your trained attack dogs who are too stupid to know otherwise," Snape retorted, ardently.

"So vehement! I'm going to have fun destroying you," Voldemort said with villainous pleasure.

Harry watched intently, ready to pounce if Voldemort even started to say those fatal words.

"Any last words, traitor?" Voldemort taunted. "No? Then _Avada Kedavra!_"

Harry dove, knowing he couldn't die, to grab Snape's robes and pull him to the ground, but he wasn't able to pull Snape down. The curse his Harry's side feeling as though Gryffindor's sword had been rammed through his ribs. He dropped like a two-ton dragon with injured wings. He hit the ground with a loud grunt. Hermione screamed "Harry!" as he landed. Harry began to pick himself up and realized the whole village could see him and that Snape was still standing.

Harry's elbows gave way, and he collapsed to the ground again. His body was heating up so fast, he felt like he had been stuffed into a ceramics kiln. He opened his eyes and shut them immediately when he saw his skin glowing a blindingly brilliant white light. The heat overwhelmed him and when a bomb seemed to go off in his stomach, he disappeared and blacked out.

******

Sorry about the cliffhanger. I take forever to get this out and then I leave you hanging by a rope of the edge of the Grand Canyon or something! What kind of an author am I? :D

To the reviewers:

Tomorrow: My goodness you wrote a lot there! Geezo! Thanks for reviewing; you know you don't have to. 1:00 in the morning and the middle of summer is _not_ a bad thing! No, your "angsty touch," as you so gracefully put it, has not rubbed off on me too much, 'cause I do have some ideas for other stories that are kind of angsty, but not really, so…anyway. Yes I suppose your right about the "hint." Although there are some others that are a little more blatant, but maybe it's just me. I torture Ron and Draco because it is funny, and I write humor, like Axisor. I'm proud of Axisor-sensei.

The whole idea of Harry and Hermione getting together will have to wait, and so will you. I just startle/embarrass/worry poor Harry, but I'm not telling you how just to be annoying. So, I'll see you when school starts in like a week, or something!

Lady Lightning: Sorry about the length of time of getting this out. (Stupid over-the-summer school assignments.) I'm glad you liked the story! Like I said this part wasn't as funny, but most stories have to have some sort of somewhat depressing chapter, right?

Thanks to both of my reviewers for part five. I'm glad I could amuse a couple of people.

Hope this was an enjoyable chapter, and I'll do my best to get chapter seven out as soon as possible. If my calculations are correct, that should be the last chapter to Pseudomortis. Please review this and tell me what you think!

Thanks,

KZerina


	7. I Told You So

Hello again. I tried to get this out as soon as I could, but I got overwhelmed by homework and stress, and needing a break from this story. Sorry!

As I promised, the humor is back! We have more fun scaring Malfoy and other such things, so I hope you like!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own anything associated with it.

Pseudomortis

Part 7 - I Told You So

By KZerina

***

Harry's eyes fluttered open, and all he saw was a blank white slab with a blurry outline. He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes roughly, leaving a sting behind. Harry looked around. Had his spirit gone to the realm where un-ghosted souls were—with his parents?

No, it couldn't be. His parents would be there right? Yes, of course they would. Why wouldn't they be? But if this wasn't another realm, where was he? He looked around again. There were shelves—shelves with antidotes, potions, and other magical remedies perched precariously on top of one another. The Hospital Wing had those kinds of things. Was he there?

Harry sat up and found that his hands hit a soft mattress, and a fluffy pillow sat behind him. The walls and floor fit the description of the Hogwarts infirmary. He saw a door on the far side of the wall and decided to see where it led. He hopped carefully down off the bed, half-expecting an excruciating pain in his side, but it never came, as though he had never been hit with the killing curse.

He tottered to the door, a little delirious, having just woken up, and through, only he didn't go through. He smashed his nose into the door, just as a loud metallic crash sounded from the other side of the wooden door. Harry rubbed his nose vigorously and, out of pure habit, pulled his hand away, looking at his fingers for any trace of blood. Seeing none, Harry pressed his hand to the door, attempting to get it to pass through to no avail.

After his unsuccessful attempt to go through the door, Harry reached for the knob. Slowly, but surely, he rotated it, unsure of what to expect on the other side. He opened the door silently and peered out through a small gap. There were Ron, Hermione, and the twins surrounding Madam Pomfrey who was mending a wound on Ginny's arm Harry slipped out the door, looking back at it, wondering if it was specially designed so ghosts could not penetrate its walls, and shrugged.

He turned his attention back to the ring of people across the room. He approached the ring of people and pushed his way into it between Fred and George, bumping into one of them (Harry couldn't tell which.) Harry looked at Ginny and—wait a minute…he'd bumped _into_ the twin. He couldn't touch them.

Harry, bewildered, began prodding the boy's shoulder.

The twin whipped around and pointed at his counterpart. "Fred! What are you—Harry?" he asked, quietly and unsure.

Harry, George's finger in his face, pinched the finger between his index finger and thumb and began bobbing it around as if it were on a string and Harry the puppeteer controlling it. Harry, Fred, and George watched it with genuine astonishment.

Fred began pushing four fingers into Harry's back. Harry released George's finger and looked over his shoulder at Fred's prodding appendages with continuing amazement. Fred looked at his fingers and up at Harry. "Woah" was all he could think to say.

A loud thud turned their attention to the center of the ring. Ginny had slumped to the floor, unconscious. She had obviously fainted, probably because of Harry.

Harry, however, didn't have much time to react to Ginny's faint; his lips were captured in an intense, emotional kiss. Harry staggered backwards, barely holding his balance. He subconsciously put his hands around the waist of the one kissing him so she wouldn't lose her balance either.

Harry put two and two together to get four. The kisser had to be Hermione. Ginny was on the floor, and surely Madam Pomfrey wouldn't suddenly kiss him, especially if she had kept him in the Hospital Wing and tended to his empty shell of a body while his consciousness was out gallivanting.

He wouldn't have had a problem with it, except that Hermione was going out with Ron from what he could tell. Sure, she was a great kisser, but he didn't want to offend Ron by kissing back, so he didn't. Instead, he shot nervous glances in Ron's direction, though not pushing Hermione away.

Hermione, however, pulled away and looked Harry in his widened, green eyes. She ducked her head back into her shoulders and covered her face, which was now redder than all the Weasleys' hair combined, with her hands. Harry felt himself flush as well, but not nearly as badly.

Luckily for both of them, Madam Pomfrey decided to break up the horribly awkward moment by waking up poor Ginny. Harry could only stare at the ground; Hermione went to the wall and sunk to the floor, placing her face in her knees.

Harry felt everyone's eyes on him to see his reaction, which was to stand in one, place and look like a prat, just staring at the floor. Harry couldn't work out what could have possessed Hermione to pull a stunt like that, especially when she was attached to the third member of the Trio.

He had never been so confused in his life. He didn't know what to do, say, or even think. Hermione had been so excited to see him that she couldn't hold it in and kissed him. It's logical and definitely possible, and that's how Harry decided to pass it off. She was just extremely excited to see him alive and kissed him out of excessive joy. That was it; it had to be.

Harry turned his attention away from the strange thoughts in his head and put it on the flame-haired girl on the floor in front of him. She had just woken up and was staring, wide-eyed, at Harry like he was a body risen from the grave, which in a sense he was, only not rotting like a typical Muggle zombie.

"Yes, dear, he's alive," Madam Pomfrey said softly. "Now, please get back in the chair so I can heal you."

Ginny sat as if she were petrified, eyes fixed unblinkingly on Harry. She didn't give in to Madam Pomfrey's urges to get in the chair, nor did she acknowledge that the nurse was saying anything at all. Fred and George went over and placed their sister in the not-so-comfortable wooden chair against the wall where Madam Pomfrey patched up the small abrasion on her arm. She winced, breaking out of her trance.

"Good," approved Madam Pomfrey. "Now for you, Harry. I'll give you a quick once-over, and you are free to go."

"But, Madam Pomfrey," interjected Fred, "doesn't he have to stay here for five days?"

"I'm not trying to set the record for most nights spent in the hospital wing," Harry replied. "It's not exactly to my fancy."

"But, Harry," George whispered, "the Slytherins don't know you're alive. Why don't we have a little fun in the first match of the season?"

"Yeah," Fred added, "if you stay here until Saturday, then the Slytherins still won't know, and, well, I think you see our point."

Harry looked back and forth between the twins' mischievous grins and glittering blue eyes before a similar expression crawled onto his face too. He could give Malfoy the fright of his life by suddenly being alive, and he couldn't possibly pass up the glorious opportunity if he could help it.

"It's tempting," Harry murmured, impishly, "very tempting. How do we get Madam Pomfrey to agree?"

"Leave that to us," George assured.

Fred and George ambushed Madam Pomfrey and immediately began persuading her to keep him in the hospital wing until Saturday's game. The one thing he heard them say ("You don't want to have him back in here, because he didn't have enough energy since he wasn't here long enough.") seemed to convince her, though maybe she just said it to get them off her back.

Madam Pomfrey ushered the six students into the room Harry had exited when he had woken up. She sat him on the bed and began examining him, his breathing, his heartbeat, almost anything he could think of that she'd need to check after he'd been asleep for a whole week. Harry sat there wondering if it was ever going to end. He passively waited through every instruction and followed it exactly.

Finally, Madam Pomfrey deemed him healthy and had him sit up in the bed, sending Ron to the dormitory to grab a set of Harry's pajamas. The nurse sent to the kitchens for food to make Harry's stomach cease its mighty roars, since Harry had not eaten since their picnic with Hagrid after the Quidditch trials a week ago.

He was allowed privacy to change into the gray sweat pants and sleeveless white t-shirt that were his pajamas and climb back onto the bed. Everyone filed back into the room and took chairs around him. The twins had fetched Lee Jordan, and he had been permitted to join the rather large group of people in the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey set a tray of food in front of Harry who stared at it hungrily as his stomach let out another enormous growl.

Harry, his nerves twitching with pent up energy from the weeklong slumber, picked up the silverware and shoveled the delicious kitchen food into his watering mouth. He excused himself for being so rude, though he knew no one cared.

Hermione at one point stood up and left with Ginny to get homework. Harry didn't blame her. It must have been pretty boring watching him stuff his face. During the time Hermione and Ginny were gone, Harry let out an involuntary burp, excusing himself politely.

Ron, eager for competition, challenged that he could burp better than Harry and added his own masterpiece, as he called it. Soon, Fred, George, and Lee joined in the contest that had previously consisted of only Ron.

When Ron had exuded a particularly large belch, the girls returned, carrying high stacks of schoolbooks.

"Ronald Weasley!" Hermione exclaimed. "What was that all about?"

"They were doing the same thing!" Ron defended, motioning at the other four boys, all of whom were laughing behind their hands.

"Don't look at me, Ron," Harry scolded. "I burped, excused myself, and you challenged it. Until your brothers and Lee joined in, you were having a contest with yourself."

"Yeah," Fred sniggered, "and we didn't get caught."

Hermione looked disapprovingly at them and set her pile of books on the floor by her chair, and Ginny set her stack by Harry's bed, pulling his wand out of her pocket and setting it on top.

Harry thanked her and continued to clean his plate of every scrap and crumb on the shiny surface. When he was finished, he neatly stacked the dishes and silverware, and Madam Pomfrey returned to clear them away.

The group sat around talking, and before they realized, it had come time for the Halloween feast.

"Oh, sorry, Harry," Hermione said, "I'll stay here with you if you'd like."

"Yeah, me too," Ron offered.

"It's all right. I'll be fine," Harry answered. "After having slept for a week, I don't need to gorge myself on candy and bounce off the walls on a sugar high, which means I don't need the Halloween feast."

"But that's what usually cheers you up on Halloween," Hermione continued, seeming almost desperate.

"Not this year," Harry rejoined. "And by the way, you can say I told you so."

Hermione just looked at him. "Why?"

"Because you were right. I'm not dead. You can say it."

Hermione stared straight into his gleaming eyes. She shook her head. "No, I don't need to. You know I was right and that's all I need to be right. I'm not going to be so immature that I need to say it."

Harry smiled at her, thankfully, not really wanting her to say it, but giving her the option because he knew he deserved it for doubting her so much.

"Well, see you later then," she said gently as she reached over and hugged him, leaning her cheek against his shoulder.

She seemed almost reluctant to let go. Harry told himself he imagined it as he sent his two best friends off. After they had gone, he picked up his first book and found a leaf of parchment with Hermione's neat handwriting set in the binding. It was a sheet with the assignments on it. Of course Hermione would write down all the assignments so he wouldn't have to ask. She was always so diligent like that. Harry couldn't help but smile.

He opened the book in his lap to the assigned pages and began to scratch away with the eagle feather quill and plain black ink. He had just finished his second assignment when suddenly a whip-crack echoed through the room, and Harry jumped, almost knocking the inkbottle to the floor. When he looked up though, all he saw was a tray on a table at the foot of the bed. Another series of whip-cracks left palettes of many different foods on the tray. If he hadn't been so shocked, his mouth would probably been watering profusely.

Harry set his finished project on the table beside him and moved to the end of the bed to inspect that which the House Elves left behind in his room. It was food that had been made for the feast.

He had told Ron and Hermione he didn't need to be on a sugar high since he had all the energy from his extended sleep, but they sent him food with the House Elves anyway. One corner of Harry's mouth lifted into a smile of gratitude while the other remained emotionless.

Harry sat for a few minutes, staring at the food, before he shook his head and selected a few cookies to munch on while he continued on his Charms homework.

Soon Ron and Hermione returned from the feast, grinning happily as they trotted through the portal of the secluded room.

"What'd you think, Harry?" Ron asked.

"I told you I didn't need sugar," Harry replied shortly.

"We felt bad leaving you here by yourself," Hermione explained, "so we went to the kitchens with your Cloak and employed the House Elves to bring some food up to you, thanking them profusely of course."

Harry looked her in the eye intensely. "You used my Cloak?"

Ron shrank back and turned slightly red, no longer smiling as he had been for the past few minutes. Hermione looked back at him with only the lightest tinge of pink painting her cheeks.

"Yes," she answered, continuing to hold his gaze.

"I don't mind, but I'd prefer you ask before doing so." Harry took his eyes away from Hermione's and set them back on the book in his lap. 

Hermione sat on the bed next to him and leaned on his shoulder, dangerously close to his face. "But if we had asked, then we wouldn't have been able to surprise you."

Harry felt a tiny blush warm his cheeks as he looked at the girl on his shoulder. He smiled at her and gave her a short one-armed hug that made her cheeks turn a light pink as well.

Harry went back to his homework and scratched a few things on the parchment paper. He asked Hermione how to say a certain charm correctly and, after a few exploded oatmeal cookies, he managed to enlarge it with the Engorgement Charm, much to Hermione's great joy and exuberance.

Later, Fred and George returned, bearing feast food as well.

"We would have gotten here sooner, Harry," said George, "but we had to hide out from Filch."

"Yeah," Fred agreed, "he was patrolling the corridors in front of the kitchens for quite some time before we could sneak past him and that stupid cat of his."

"Great, more food. Just what I need," grumbled Harry. "You guys want any? I've got more than enough."

Ron and his two brothers immediately pounced at the chance to eat. Hermione flopped into a chair and under her breath muttered something that sounded very much like 'pigs,' which made Harry stifle a snorting laugh as he remembered his gluttonous cousin, Dudley, and hoping the Weasley brothers would never look like that.

***

Throughout the rest of the week, Hermione continued to bring his books and assignments written in her immaculate handwriting. His best friends sat with him as much as they could and helped him with what he needed since he'd missed the in-class explanations.

He told Katie Bell to make sure the Quidditch team practiced and to run the practices as his proxy. Apparently all went well since he didn't get any reports from any of the remaining six players except about Lance Starrz's arrogance and attempts to take over, but Katie sorted that out and set him straight.

Soon enough, Saturday arrived. Ron and Hermione brought him his Invisibility Cloak, and he headed out to the locker rooms after he finished his breakfast of grilled ham and scrambled eggs. He changed into his Quidditch robes and slipped his wand into his arm guard. He never knew when he might need it. He checked his Firebolt to be sure it was in perfect working order and then, waited for the rest of the team to arrive.

The girls arrived first, and Katie relinquished her proxy position back to Harry. The twins came next with grins showing their imaginings of Malfoy's face when he saw Harry resurrected. Lance showed up last, strutting like a peacock trying to attract a hen. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the proper captain. He looked like he was going to faint.

"What? You didn't tell him I was alive?" Harry smirked.

"Oh," Fred mused, "must have slipped our minds."

The whole team laughed hysterically, except for Lance who looked furious at not being informed of this minor detail. 

"Get your robes on, all of you," Harry ordered. "The game begins in fifteen minutes."

The team, when ready, stood at the entrance to the pitch to wait for the call of the teams. Harry's nerves jolted with excitement—the first game of the season, being back in the air on his Firebolt, Malfoy's priceless expression when he sees Harry alive.

Lee Jordan called the Slytherins first. Harry was sure they'd be pretty smug since they thought the replacement Gryffindor Seeker couldn't be all that good at playing his position.

"And for Gryffindor! Chasers Katie Bell, Alicia Spinnet, and Angelina Johnson!" Lee announced. "Beaters Fred and George Weasley! Keeper Lance Starzz! And the not-so-new Seeker and Captain HARRY POTTER!!!"

The stands filled with Gryffindors cascaded with ecstatic cheers, and Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, once they realized what had happened, cheered loudly, too. Harry exchanged laughing looks with the rest of the team before turning to the fish-mouthed Slytherin captain and Seeker.

Draco Malfoy, who rejected sending a letter to his father about the murder of Harry, was now dumbfounded at the sight before his eyes. The rest of the team was sending astonished looks around their team circle.

"Captains, shake hands," directed Madam Hooch.

Harry stuck out and unwavering hand immediately. Draco slowly offered his wildly shaking one which Harry had to take since he was so slow, letting go as soon as he could since he didn't want to be touching Draco for very long.

"Mount your brooms!"

Both teams mounted and zoomed into the air, though the Slytherins were still rather awestruck. The Quaffle was in the air and the Bludgers and Snitch released and the game began.

The Slytherin team was nowhere near at their best. Gryffindors took immediate possession of the Quaffle and were almost unhindered as they made their way to the goal. Draco didn't even look for the Snitch—only at the reborn Harry Potter on the broom nearest his brand new Nimbus 2004, the newest racing broom on the market with which he bought his way into the captains position.

"You seem a little off your marks today, Malfoy," Harry taunted.

"What?"

"I said you seem a little off your marks today," Harry repeated.

"Oh," Malfoy mumbled dazedly back.

Harry, taking advantage of Malfoy's flabbergasted state, decided to do a Wronski Feint, hoping Malfoy would follow—perhaps making a bit of a challenge for Harry in the game. He glanced at Malfoy to make certain he was paying attention and zoomed towards the hard ground below. Malfoy, after a moment's pause, dived after Harry.

In mid-plunge, Harry glimpsed the sleek, fast Snitch just ahead of him. He reached a hand out in front of him and snatched it roughly out of the air braking to an abrupt halt, swinging his Firebolt parallel to the ground.

He was about to lift the Snitch high into the air when Malfoy blasted past him, obviously missing the fact that Harry had the Snitch and had stopped with it clutched tightly in his hand. Harry watched as Malfoy hurtled quickly toward the ground. Harry jerked an accentuated wince as Malfoy slammed the handle of his Nimbus 2004 into the solid ground and slid down to smash his face into the dirt.

Harry looked at the incapacitated Seeker and at the small, winged ball in his hand. He held it up at ear height and said, "I got it."

Madam Hooch blew her whistle and announced a Gryffindor victory. The stands erupted with cheers again as they had when Harry had been announced as Gryffindor Seeker. The team members who had played for Gryffindor in years past bombarded Harry with themselves, almost knocking him off balance. Lance came reluctantly, the unwilling expression on his face served as a give away to his true feelings of attempting not to look stupid by holding back when his team had just won the first match of the Quidditch season.

After a bit, the seven crimson-clad teenagers headed to the locker room to store their equipment and robes. No sooner had they arrived in the locker room, than Harry was accosted by an overly excited Hermione. She threw her arms around Harry's neck and hugged him tightly. Harry felt as though Hermione was inadvertently strangling him.

"Hermione!" Harry gasped. He didn't really want her to let go, but if she didn't, Ron might get angry and do something he'd regret, or she might choke him to death.

Hermione, upon hearing Harry's somewhat stifled cry of suffocation, immediately released and pulled away, biting her lower lip.

"Thanks," Harry said, coarsely and rubbing his throat absently.

"Sorry," Hermione said a little red in the cheeks. "It's just that you won and—"

Ron coughed heavily across the room, making Hermione's face turn to a more intense hue as her beautiful cinnamon sugar eyes scanned the floor as though searching it for a lost item.

"Uh, Hermione? Didn't you say something about going to the library after the game?" Ron asked as though he were trying to get her out of the locker room.

"Oh, yeah," she replied and hastily made her way back to the castle.

"DON'T FORGET TO COME BACK!! WE'RE HAVING A PARTY LATER!!" yelled Fred after her retreating back.

Harry phased out after that. Questions filled his mind, and it was unable to answer. She had kissed him the other day, and now she nearly choked the life out of him. Why would she even think of doing that? And why hadn't Ron mentioned anything about either of Hermione's outbursts?

"Right, Harry?" came Ron's voice, snapping him back to reality.

"Huh, wha—? Oh, right…um…yeah, what he said," Harry replied somewhat sheepishly.

"Yeah, anyway, I'm going to go see what Hermione's up to in the library," Ron explained as he set off after the third member of their Hogwarts famed trio.

Harry shook his head to clear it of the odd questions that had been sifting through it. He cleaned up from the match and headed up to the dormitories with his Firebolt to store it. There he found Ron who said he'd left Hermione to her homework and left it at that.

Harry nodded and continued to store his Firebolt.

"Harry?"

Harry took his green eyes from his broom, giving Ron his undivided attention.

"I've been meaning to ask you…"

Harry knew what was coming. Ron was going to ask him if he, Harry, was okay with the fact that he and Hermione were dating, and he was completely ready to answer a confident yes.

"I…um, well, I was going to ask before, but under the circumstances…um, why didn't I make Keeper?"

Harry faltered, taken aback by the unexpected question that issued from Ron's mouth. "Oh, well," Harry managed, "we came to a pretty much unanimous decision that you just didn't fly like a Keeper. Sure you were really good and all, but that just wasn't the position you were meant to play."

"Oh," Ron put simply.

"But, my suggestion to you is that you try-out next year. I think we'll have a nice Chaser position waiting in the wings, just for you."

"Really? Chaser?" Ron asked hopefully.

Harry nodded with a grin spread at his friend. Ron nodded as well with much satisfaction. He seemed as though Ron was done interrogating until he asked one more totally unexpected thing.

"When are you going to ask Hermione out?"

***

Well, there was the last part of "Pseudomortis." Kind of like a cliffhanger, but not. I have some ideas for a sequel so when I feel like writing it, I'll get that up, but if I get enough reviews and/or e-mails for the sequel as soon as possible, I'll try and get it out sooner. Until then, I have a couple of other stories in the works so I'm going to do those.

Notes to my reviewers:

Promy: It's all right you didn't review. It just makes me happy when I get one. For instance, I was just mad at someone, I found I had a review and it made me feel good. The warm fuzzy feeling, you know?

            You were right, Harry came back, and nothing really happened with their relationship, but I did have a doozy of an embarrassment didn't I?

Hollie: I'm really glad you liked the story and also really sorry for getting this out so late. I was bombarded with homework and had no time to work on it. I hope you liked the ending! I apologize again!

Special Thanks to:

Author: Mesozoic Flower

Non-Authors: Kat, Razormikey, Kato, Taylee, and QuadropheniaA

So, did you like it, dislike it, love it, hate it? Please review! Since this particular story won't have any more parts, I'll e-mail you my responses to your reviews if I have an e-mail I can get to.

Thanks again to all of my readers!

I bid thee all adieu, until next time!

KZerina


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